You Are Here

by David Nicholls

If anything she tried too hard, a people-pleaser, though no one ever seemed that pleased.

The rest of the group was already seated and as she approached, too far from the table, she shouted, ‘I think I smell of cow shit,’ effervescent, fascinating, an enigma to all.

‘I don’t know. Maybe I worried I might shit myself four times a day.’

‘It’d be funny to go up and look at her easel and it’s just a big cock and balls.’

‘It’s the first Psycho-themed hotel I’ve stayed in, that’s all. The bed’s okay, I just feel like I’m being watched through a peephole by someone masturbating in the wardrobe. A cannibal probably.’

I don’t love you yet but I’ll see if I can.

I will stay with him and walk into the sea.