Dear Hanna

by Zoje Stage

Had the Other self changed its mind, or was Hanna losing hers?

maybe they always understood, deep down, that we were more alike than they wanted to admit? Treated differently, perhaps, but more similar than we were dissimilar.

I wear my darkness like a sweater; it keeps me warm.

Queenlike in her chair, she emitted a benevolent surety that made her patients want to trust her. I want to trust her.

Her marriage had been an intentional product of her good judgment. She’d known what she was looking for,

“I was bad though, wasn’t I?” “I think you know what I think,” Beatrix said in her calm way. “Too many emotions and not enough ways to explain them. Too many desires and not enough ways to make yourself understood.”

“You still think about what happened?” the therapist asked. What a stupid question. How could I ever forget?

What if it turns out she's responsible for her brother's death and has been imagining their correspondence this whole time? I've been starting to get these vibes, especially when Goose' personality seems more like a reflection of his sister. What if he's not real?

Hanna had made an error, long ago, in positioning her brother in a semisecretive way; she should’ve never mentioned him at all—Goose should be an actual secret.

It is very sketchy how she shrouds him in secrecy. Why she trying to hide him. Is he dead?

Hanna had used the antifreeze on the wrong person.

Oh lord what now...

her mission now wasn’t to kill anyone but to generate an illness that they could all rally behind.

Hanna prepared a second small dose of the poison on Sunday morning. She hadn’t really felt anything after Saturday’s dose,

So herself... boy is she desperate

Needles weren’t worthy of anyone’s fear, given the daily horrors that came with being sentient, constant witnesses to human cruelty. And blood was beautiful, nothing to be afraid of.

On some level would the good doctor be proud of her that she’d evolved and instead of hurting other people, she was now hurting herself? Probably not.

“This isn’t a problem with us—this is a problem with you.” His expression curdled with disgust, as if he’d tasted something rancid. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do with you.”

“I have an appointment in the morning, then I’ll be back.”

Is the appointment with her parents? Please let it be with her parents!

“Do you want something to drink?” He gave her a glower. “I’ll fix it myself.”

ROFL I dont blame the man.

She jumped when the doorbell rang.

Her parents?! It's gotta be!

Naughty Hanna, you know it’s not nice to poison people.

Unfortunately, that route now risked veering into territory that Hanna sought to avoid at all costs—certain truths really shouldn’t come out.

And you’re great with Goose. I just don’t understand, at all, why the news of a baby—” “Wait,” Daddy interjected, as if awakened by a tornado warning. Shit. Fuck. The unraveling was about to accelerate. Hanna had missed her chance to lead the conversation in a different direction. “Did you say Goose?” Mommy asked. The color drained from her face, leaving her pale and haggard.

I'm right arent I? He's dead!

“You told him Gustav is alive?” Daddy was incredulous. “At school?”

“Our son—Hanna’s brother—died when he was six,” said Alex’s ghost. “Hanna was babysitting,” Mommy’s ghost explained. “It was only the second time I’d let her babysit.”

Knew it!

Was Hanna responsible?” “Of course she was,”

“It was an accident,” he said gently. He clarified for Jacob: “He’d swallowed a button.”

Good to know she didn't intentionally murder him. I didn't really think so because she did seem to truly have love for him.

Prison might stop you, but it won’t help you.

True, but letting her go free so she can someday spiral and harm someone else is not the the ideal way to handle the problem either.

I don’t want to leave Joelle with a hole. I love her.” More than I ever loved you.

Aww okay this was sweet in a sad way.