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But as the years went by, I continued to get myself into all sorts of scrapes, fueled by intense exuberance.
I had no idea that this impulsivity and false courage were symptoms of something else.
In a few hours, a few days, a few weeks, it will be supplanted by depression.
I’d work on projects the whole night through, without the benefit of anything stronger than coffee.
my glorious feeling would dissipate like melted snow.
Or I’d become so depressed that my energy stalled, grinding to a halt. From being able to do anything, I went to being able to do . . . nothing.
hypomania doesn’t just go away, leaving behind happy memories. Instead of afterglow, there is a crash—of shame, of self-loathing, of sadness that shatters like broken glass.
Whatever you call it, the underlying symptoms are exuberance and anxiety, and if they are later
The anxiety stays. It’s only the situations that change.
The madness of depression is the antithesis of violence. It is a storm indeed, but a storm of murk.
—WILLIAM STYRON
They characterize themselves as ‘upbeat’ people who had an uncharacteristic down time.”4

