“Oh, Shane. You do have an excellent memory. Do you remember the time you and my brother got drunk on my parent’s stash, and you peed in the coat closet? I put up that sign saying ‘Not a Bathroom’ to help you avoid making that little mistake again. That’s what a married couple should do—find little ways to help each other. I pledge to keep you from pissing in coat closets for the rest of this marriage.”