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‘Valter and Editta,’ he said with a groan, ‘are human heaps of shit who don’t have the faintest fucking idea of the daughter they could have had if they’d pulled their heads out of their arses for half a minute. Let’s just assume the rest of their judgement is equally flawed, alright? I feel that’ll be more efficient than having to disprove every other bit of nonsense they decided to instil in you over the years.’
‘Ah.’ He blew out his cheeks. ‘Well, that’s easier. You’ve eaten at our table, you’ve slept in our beds, you’ve risked your life for us and we’ve risked our lives for you. Which means you’re one of us now, as far as I’m concerned. We’re simple creatures, really.’
‘That seemed so obvious to me,’ he added helplessly. ‘I didn’t realise you’d think …’ ‘That you’d tell me to go pack my bags instead?’ ‘No.’ He let out a slow breath, meeting my gaze with a slightly frayed version of his usual stoic equanimity. ‘I suppose that renders the anger a little misplaced, in hindsight.’
‘Don’t think so,’ I muttered, and when he quirked up an eyebrow, I sheepishly added, ‘Promise. On my alf honour.’
‘You don’t have the faintest idea how relieved I am to have my little warrior back.’
‘Do you think there’s anything I wouldn’t do for you?’
‘My loveliest, most terrifying cactus …’
‘I’m fully fucking honest when I say no one has ever frightened me as much as you do. I’ve never had this much to lose before.’
‘Liria.’ Even breathed so quietly, I could make out the Faerie word. My love.
Perhaps that was simply the way all emotionally constipated warriors understood each other,
‘For hell’s sake,’ he said bleakly. ‘What have you been thinking?’ ‘Well,’ I said, ‘have you seen what he looks like?’
‘I’m saying I love him to pieces,’ I pleasantly corrected. ‘Gods help me,’ he muttered, burying his face in his hands. ‘Because you’ve seen what he looks like?’ I scoffed. ‘No. Because he’s the only damn person in this world who’s never tried to make me more than I can be or less than I am. Because he makes me laugh when I’m frightened. Because he knows what it’s like to be everyone’s weapon. Because he stops me from doubting myself. Do I need to continue?’
‘Possibly the most life-changing thing you ever taught me,’ Creon added, unmoving, ‘is that monstrous powers alone are not enough to make a monster. So I’ll be damned if I let you drag yourself down that same path, cactus. You did what you had to do, and you did it well. There’s nothing evil about that.’
‘Listen to me. No, I don’t have the faintest idea of where I want to end up in life. Yes, in the past, I spent most of my days being violently unhappy, and yes, I have wondered at times if it was even worth going on. But I’m happier now than I’ve ever been, do you understand? Every morning that I wake up with you in my arms, you change the world all over again, and I want more of that – more of everything you make me see and feel. So I’m not going anywhere – not as long as you’re with me. Do I need to make that any clearer?’
‘You’ll destroy me one day, cactus,’ he whispered, and I couldn’t tell whether it was laughter or some other emotion choking his voice. ‘You’ll be the utter ruin of me, and hell take me, you’ll be worth every moment of it.’
‘Don’t you dare call my daughter a fae whore ever again, you fucking swine.’
‘I’m resigning,’ she pleasantly informed him, bunching up her robe to pull it over her head. A slim, blue-grey dress appeared below; she chucked the robe into a shapeless heap next to the brooch and smoothed her skirt back in place. ‘I’m sick of catering to cowards. Time for war. Let’s go, Em.’
But then the news came that someone had burned the Mother’s eyes right from her face and I knew – oh, I knew immediately that that had been you.’
‘I held you for half an hour. After you were born.’ Her voice was barely audible now. ‘The most beautiful minutes of my life, and then I had to let you go without knowing if I’d ever see you again.
‘But it … it’s an alf sword.’ What in the world was I arguing for – for them to abruptly realise they had made a colossal mistake and yank the weapon from my hands again? And yet my lips refused to stop moving, unable to trust, unable to fall and let the net catch me. ‘And I’m not an alf. So—' Tared quirked up an eyebrow. ‘Aren't you?’ Oh. One of us.
‘Even if you can't be everyone's hero, that doesn't make you a villain, cactus.’
‘Emelin Thenessa, love of my life, you’re farther from a failure than anyone I’ve ever met in this world. Don't try to argue. It will win you nothing but more declarations of my heartfelt admiration, and they will be elaborate.’
‘You started leaving an impression the moment I first laid eyes on you,’ he muttered, lifting me into his arms and taking off into the sky.
‘Have I told you,’ Creon muttered against the crown of my head, ‘how much I’m planning to enjoy the next few centuries, cactus?’
