The Grim Grotto (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #11)

by Lemony Snicket

Except people who have no respect for the alphabet! And they’re not here! Are they?” “No,” Klaus said. “We have a great deal of respect for the alphabet.” “I should say so!” the captain cried. “Klaus Baudelaire disrespect the alphabet? Why, it’s unthinkable! Aye! It’s illegal! It’s impossible! It’s not true! How dare you say so! No—you didn’t say so! I apologize! One thousand pardons! Aye!”

I’d never forget Sunny! Never in a million years! Not that I will live that long! Particularly because I don’t exercise very much! But I don’t like exercising, so it’s worth it!

“I was tired of working in the lumber industry,” Phil said. “I was sure I could find a better job, and look at me now—cook on a dilapidated submarine. Life keeps on getting better and better.” “You always were an optimist,” Klaus said.

It is one of life’s bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.

You might think that climbing a mountain is half the battle, only to find out that the mountain goats who live at the top are vicious, and heavily armed.

villains need to develop a villainous laugh, so that they may simultaneously celebrate their villainous deeds and frighten whatever nonvillainous people happen to be nearby.

“You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!”