The Faculty Lounge

by Jennifer Mathieu

remedial freshmen, although Ms. Sanderson insisted on referring to them as “first years” in an effort to avoid sexism.

“I believe he’s…expired?”

“And the crazy thing is that this isn’t even the most fucked up thing that’s happened at this place.”

the time a young math teacher was caught receiving a blow job from a female student in the faculty parking lot after hours; the time an eleventh

grader delivered a full-term baby in the girls’ second-floor bathroom; the time it was discovered that one of the assistant principals, Mr. Ellis, had lost his home to foreclosure and was essentially living at the school, showering in the boys’ locker room and sleeping in his office;

I’ve been teaching since longer than you’ve been alive, you know. I actually could have started collecting my pension a few years ago. There’s a part of me that wants to make sure I quit while I’m ahead. I never wanted to be one of those teachers who was phoning it in.”

Upon reflection, Amanda had to admit that what upset her most of all was not the kiss, but the realization that adulthood did not prevent otherwise reasonable, intelligent people like Mr. Lehrer from doing stupid things. The thought made her nervous about her own future.

She questioned her relevance, her ability to connect with the kids, the way every text she introduced in class was classified as problematic by her students, who struck her as far more sensitive and humorless than she had ever been at that age.

This job now felt less like an art form and more like a factory line.

Perhaps this was a time when it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission, Principal Kendricks decided. Besides, it had clearly meant something to Mr. Lehrer.

By the time it had moved on to wherever, PTO President Jessica Patterson was left sputtering and shouting, totally coated in what was left of the remains of Mr. Bob Lehrer, former Baldwin High teacher and beloved substitute.

the district initiated a formal investigation into the matter.

“The whole thing sort of broke my heart.”

Put simply, it was not the vocation that it seemed to be for other people. It was just a job.

A person could color-code and list and organize, but in the end, life sometimes just happened to you.

In this business, we can only focus on what we can do in the moment. We can only focus on the next good choice. It’s been my experience that this is true in life as well. We cannot control other people or their behavior. We can only try to do the next right thing. I hope next week is an improvement over this one. Sincerely, Ms. Jackson FROM: Denise.Baker@district181.org TO: Andrew.Williams@district181.org

He honestly had no regrets about any of his actions this year, but he also wondered, not for the first time in his career, why doing the right thing was so often punished and toeing the company line was so often rewarded.

“What I miss most is the feeling…that…the work is so important,” she said at last. This wasn’t totally right, but it was at least somewhat close.

She hated the seeming futility of it all and how ineffectual it made her feel.

In fact, Emilio would never forget the afternoon her voice cracked as she read aloud the last few lines of The Great Gatsby, and her eyes seemed to fill with tears that never quite fell. “Forgive me,” she’d said, holding the book to her chest and briefly closing her eyes, taking a moment to exhale. “But is that not utterly exquisite?”

she still seemed otherworldly somehow. Like an abstract painting you admire from afar but don’t fully understand.

Emilio smiled with the pleasure that came with making another human being happy, and after a moment or two, he reached again for his book.

For Lydia Brennan, the flowers standing proud in their vase were a reminder of this season that unfurled before her, a time full of countless chances for her

to discover who she was and who she might still want to be.

That there were more books in the world than he would ever have time to read was equal parts comforting and troubling.

“No one is ever really ready for the first day,” she said. “So the best you can do is show up and hang on.”