The English Major

by Jim Harrison

Time tricks us into thinking we’re part of her and then leaves us behind.

My friend Ad had said that toward the end of a marriage you’re like a rat trapped in a septic tank.

“Yours is an American story. You lose your life’s long term substance, your wife and farm and dog. You are cut loose. At your age you can’t think of new worlds to conquer or big deal adventures in far flung places. The only real adventure in most people’s life is adultery.”

I’m sort of neutral in terms of religion but ever since I was a kid I’ve thought moving water to be the best thing God made.

One thing that has gone wrong in America is the general acceptance of bad ham.

“Normal people don’t try to be normal people, they’re just hopelessly normal people.”

I got this pancreas infection and I can’t drink so I’ve been strip searching my life. To be frank, it’s no fun.”

“I have to clarify my thinking.” “That’s impossible. You’re trying to start a new life at age sixty which is also impossible. You can only try variations on your common theme. You’re a raccoon who has been treed by the hounds of life.”

no creature in nature jogs.