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And no, she hadn’t purposefully searched for shirtless interviews, thank you very much. They’d come up as a suggested Google search. She couldn’t simply ignore that kind of search engine divine providence. It would be irresponsible.
“Growing up in my house, we had a rule. You have to clear the air before a meal. If you still have anger in your throat when the meal starts, you could choke.”
“I’m too old for this,” he muttered. “Fuck you, mom jokes. You’re never too old for this.” “Touché.”
“You don’t know how I donate them.” “I don’t think I’ll be finding out,” she blurted, sounding suspiciously breathy. “Will I?”
That was life, wasn’t it? Making connections, bonding with people and places, then moving forward without them. Missing them. Carrying those influence around, sort of like layers of clothing. Her birthplace was one layer, her family another. Her best friend, Josephine. Antarctica. Now Boston. Sometimes it hurt to collect another layer, to make new friends and have new experiences when she still ached for the layers closest to her skin, but she would keep pursuing nights like this, because she’d made a promise to her sister.
“I’m going to regret every second of this conversation in the morning.” “I have news for you, it’s already morning.” “You know what I mean, the morning that comes with sunlight attached.”
Shit. First giddy, now vulnerable. All in one night. What was going on with him?
“I had a nanny for a while growing up,” Corrigan interrupted. “She was in her sixties. But there were some days she looked pretty good. Those were confusing days for me.” “Every day is a confusing day for you,” Sig quipped.
“I think the point might be that you try to figure out what it means. Sometimes that’s what learning comes down to. Making your mind stretch.” Lissa groaned. “You sound like Mrs. DeSoto, my language arts teacher.” “Mrs. DeSoto sounds like a wise and stylish woman,” Tallulah sniffed.
His attentiveness should be a given! Yet she was already rising to her feet, making excuses for the sudden need to make sure he knew he’d made an impact with one little sentence. Maybe because it wasn’t a small thing for someone set in their ways to learn a new way to be. It wasn’t small at all.
She’d never actually felt her pelvic floor so acutely, but wow, there it was, tightening up like shrink wrap around a doorknob.
Once my body knows there are remedies for everything, it’ll start falling apart.” “Wow.” “Wow?” She slid her thumb up his spine and he hissed. “I’m not a doctor, but I’m relatively sure that’s not how medicine works. Or the human body. Like, I don’t think the various parts of our bodies are conspiring against us.” “Of course not, you’re twenty-six.”
“You hedged.” “I didn’t hedge.” “I know a hedge when I hear one.”
“Maybe it’s okay to feel unsafe,” she said quietly, internalizing the sentiment as she went along, because it didn’t only apply to him, did it? “Maybe it’s okay for the both of us to start reaching for . . . more.”
Stop looking at his mighty, Zeus-like chest. And his stomach. Was it even a stomach? It was more like a flesh-colored egg carton. Our Father, who art in Heaven . . . Apparently flip-flopping between Greek mythology and Christianity was the final proof that she’d been overwhelmed by the sight of him.
“Dad, why is your shirt off?” A line hopped in his cheek. “I . . . spilled something.” What a coincidence. Tallulah’s common sense had spilled out of her ears.
“Just want to mention that I’m happy to give, not just receive. In fact, I fucking love giving, Tallulah.” She blinked up at him, shock spearing down to her toes. “Excuse me?” “Massages.” He winked at her. “I’m talking about massages. What did you think I meant?” Then he continued on his merry way, whistling. Whistling.
Bostonians, man. They loved a villain.
On the wild chance he could have some kind of relationship with Tallulah, how long until his cantankerous nature wore thin and she got sick of him, like his ex-wife had? Was there even any point in trying? Tallulah did a little skip as she reached him, and his heart followed suit. Yeah. Yeah, she was worth trying for.
“You’re an NHL legend. Can’t you just date whoever you want?” Burgess frowned at Tallulah. “Apparently not.”
“Do you want a lemonade?” asked the Organizer. “No,” Burgess shouted. “He hates joy in all forms,” Tallulah explained in a whisper.
“There’s nothing going on between you?” “You’re just a rich, eligible, attractive man living with his hot au pair, getting back rubs and occasionally making out with her.” This from Annie. “As friends.” Burgess looked at Tallulah with mock thoughtfulness. “It does sound a little suspicious when you put it all together like that,” Burgess mused happily.
Burgess stared her right in the eye while ripping the stack of business cards in half and holding them up, letting the wind take them in eighty directions. “We clear?” “Oh,” she whispered, feeling suddenly and dizzyingly light. “I don’t know—” “The only woman I’m calling is you.” The world just kind of doused itself in lavender. “For au pair reasons. And because I’m your friend.” He cupped the back of her skull, bringing her forward to kiss her forehead. “Whatever you say, gorgeous.”
You could be wasting your time on me.” “Time with you could never be a waste. Only a privilege.”
Tallulah opened her mouth to remind Finn she had a boyfriend. But . . . she didn’t want to lie. She shouldn’t have to lie or make an excuse not to be interested. She was allowed to simply not be interested and didn’t owe him an explanation about it.
“Did he—” “Yes. He did. So I called him a motherfucker and threatened to break his glasses.” Slowly, a rumble started to spread in Burgess’s chest, his arms squeezing her even closer, his lips pressing to her hairline. “That’s my girl.”
Even if he’d gotten them seats in one of the air-conditioned boxes, there would have been other people around. And honestly, fuck other people right now, he just needed this one.
“Do you have any idea what kind of names I’ve been called on the road? Hell, I’ve been called worse by my own teammates.” She blinked up at him. “So?” He stroked the side of her face. “‘Neanderthal’ doesn’t even rate, gorgeous.” “Oh yeah? Then why did I want to stab him in the throat?” I’m going to marry this girl someday.
Being allowed into this person’s head would forever be his life’s biggest honor. It was a beautiful, complicated place and he couldn’t wait to explore it. As much as he could for as long as he was allowed.
She wanted to make him feel the way his honesty had made her feel. Like someone’s first choice.
“Forever is composed of nows. Dickinson said that. It’s the one time English Lit piqued my interest.”
“I’ll be ready and waiting to warm you back up.” “I thought you just said warming me up was against the rules.” “I meant I’d wrap you up in towel. Like a burrito.” “I bet that’s a porn category, too.”
How did the players manage to swagger while on skates? It seemed like it should be impossible, yet Tallulah was witnessing it with her own eyes.
As the game wore on, Tallulah decided hockey fans were nuts. Graciously violent was the only way she could describe them.
Those silver hairs creeping into his sideburns, beard, and chest hair . . . were they a warning flag to her? Stay away from this guy. He’s past his prime. He’s none of the things you want. Spontaneous. Fun. Adventurous. Young. Or was she curious about what his experience brought to the table?
“I’ve lost a step. It’s common knowledge.” “Well maybe you had a couple steps to spare!” she sputtered. His heart pumped in a drawn-out beat. “What?” “Maybe now everyone is a little closer to your level, but they’re not on it.”
Tallulah let out a high-pitched laugh that didn’t sound all that humorous. “I’m sure your ex-wife has seen you shirtless before.” “Yeah.” Hiding his smile was growing more difficult by the second. “Honestly, it’s hard to remember anything that happened in my life before you moved in.”
Just like last night, he’d continue to keep their relationship unlabeled. Even if in his head, they were each wearing a label written in black Sharpie. Tallulah’s read mine. His read hers.
“Guide me anywhere you want, gorgeous. I can keep up.”
His hand was large and reassuring around hers, their fingers weaving together naturally. So natural. Just like being around him with her guard down felt now. Perfect. Easy. Like breathing.
“And you’re all mine.” “Ah, gorgeous. I’ve been yours since California.”
“How do we come back from that?” “Maybe . . . you don’t. Maybe you go somewhere different.”
“The day we met, you could have asked me to bring you the moon on a platter and I’d have done it,” he said raggedly. “Ask me for galaxies now. You get anything you want, gorgeous.
He thought of Tallulah and how she felt in his arms, how her voice sounded like it had been missing from his ears his whole life.
“Forget?” “Yes.” “I couldn’t forget a fucking minute of you if I tried.”
“They dated. Sort of.” “It was a hell of a lot more than dating,” Burgess said without taking his attention off Tallulah. “It hardly matters now.” Tallulah turned a smile on their host. “It’s in the past.” “I see.” Carlos trailed off momentarily, then came back twice as enthused. “Well, I can’t wait to see how this ruins everything.”
“I would give up everything I own to go back to that day and tell you I love you, too, Tallulah. I’d smile while handing over my soul to the devil for that chance.”
“I might not have you anymore. I might have thrown away my chance, but I’m not going to throw away the lesson you tried to teach me. If it’s the only piece of you I’m allowed, I’m keeping it.”
“I hope they treasure each other. Love doesn’t always come around twice. And even if it does, it’s going to be different. There are no two exact types of love, you know that? When two people love each other, they create a love snowflake, and it can never be re-created by anyone else.”
“It’s complicated.” “It’s not.” He shook his head. “If you think about the problem, really think about it, it’s never more complicated than learning to live without someone you love. I promise.”
