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January 27 - January 28, 2024
The potent Islay whisky his father bought there by the barrel called to his battered soul, the broken vow to never end up like his da filling him with embarrassment.
It started as it always did. Just one drink. One drink to take the edge off the guilt, and the memories he yearned to leave behind. One drink became two, two became three, three became four.
Despite the stench of whisky and sickness, Pádraig closed the gap between them and pulled him into his chest. Cradling Hector like a beloved child, he placed a hand on the back of his head and began to praise God.
Love conquered Hector’s resistance, and he moored himself to Pádraig, tightening his arms around him.
“The whisky eventually failed, but God never did.
Remorse pinched his chest, and his voice caught in his throat. “I cannae go home.” Pádraig stopped in front of the abbey church steps. “The Lord has brought you back where you belong. Go in, lad. I’ll be here waiting when you’re done. You’ve come this far.”
The turmoil that burdened his shoulders eased as the Savior of the world took the yoke beside him.
“Jesus, are you there?” What are you running from? His voice became a heavy whisper. “Myself.”
Longing to yield to sovereign will overwhelmed him, but he was scared to let go, knowing how unworthy of redemption he was. You can’t change your past. Trust Me with your future.
I’m a miserable sinner, wasting all the opportunities I’ve ever had. I have nothing to offer you.” Give me your heart. I will make it brand new. “Lord, if you are willing…” I will catch you, don’t be afraid. Hector loosened his fingers and let go of his will, plummeting backward into the unknown. “Save me.”
while she’d tried to love Duncan, she was thankful he could never hurt her again.
“I prayed for God to help me reach him so that he would change. I never saw it happen, but do you know what did?” Cara shook her head. “God sent me you instead. A daughter to love, to nourish, to treasure, and who came to faith just listening to me babble stories while she weaved.
God knows who we need and who needs us.”
What Duncan broke down each night, Margaret faithfully rebuilt each day, refusing to allow Cara to wither away in the decade she had been her daughter-in-law.
Jesus, help me. Help me to find my way. Will I ever have someone who will love me just as I am? I’m so lonely, God. Please, take this pain away. Send someone to help me.
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“Who heals the broken in heart and binds up their bruises? Who determines the number of stars and calls them all by name? Great is our Lord. Great is His Power. His wisdom cannot be numbered. The Lord lifts up the meek and brings the wicked down to the ground. Sing, you, to the Lord with praise…”
“Most people say they do, but don’t live like they believe in Him.”
“There are things only you can speak, a path that only you can walk, people only you can touch. Dinnae diminish your worth.” A strange intimacy coming from a near stranger, but words she needed to hear.
The gloom of the terrible day had been punctuated by the glow of radiant moonlight—she was significant.
He had to keep moving, had to outrun the horseman that threatened at the edges of his sanity. God, help me.
Cara locked her arms tighter, shielding him from the fear that had terrorized him only moments before. “Take a moment. You’re shaking. I’m here. I won’t leave you.”
Sometimes conflict is necessary to protect order, and to overcome those who wish to destroy good. Peace doesn’t mean passiveness. Peace requires courage.
There’s no worse feeling in the world than to be hurt and have no way of defending yourself. To be physically small, and—” “Insignificant?”
“Father, I pray for this soul who is troubled. Send your angelic host to guard him. Chase away the demons that want to remind him of things you have settled long ago. Banish the darkness from his mind. Help him to surrender his past into your hands. Help him to know how best to use his gifts to serve you. Comfort him and lead him in perfect peace. In the name of Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.”
Words he’d needed to hear for thirteen years tumbled through his mind. Beginning to pray for guidance, he sought the One who would light the way in the darkness. For in the moment she began her prayer, his heart was lost.
“And just how am I supposed to do that when every time I look at him, I can only see his failures and the pain he caused?” “Is that what the Lord sees when He looks at you?”
Every ounce of infatuation he felt for Elspeth leached from his body as he saw Cara’s smile widen, then halt.
The hairs on the back of Hector’s neck rose. A voice, ancient and brave, called him into battle and spoke two words. Protect her. The berserker, long hidden in the shadows, stepped into the light. Righteous anger roused him from his hibernation and beckoned him forward.
Not a chance. Gregor had harmed his woman.
Raising his voice, he bound his protection over her. “Clan MacLean of Lochbuie, you are witnesses that Cara is mine to defend. I number her among my household. I bind myself to her as her guardian and protector until the end of my days. If anyone breaches her peace or safety, it is an offense against the chieftain.”
Something fierce, but soft, had brimmed in Hector’s eyes as he sheltered her body with his own, absorbing the blows meant for her. For the first time, someone had hunted those who’d hurt her, battling the demons surrounding her. In that moment, her heart bound itself to his.
“I only want peace. Our Lord says if one demands your cloak give him your tunic also.” Rhona, Léo, and Hector looked at each other utterly put to shame by her pure heart.
“My father and Margaret are the only ones who have ever loved me.” She kept walking up the hill. He jogged after her and caught her arm. “That isnae true.” He looked at his large hand gripping her arm and let go. The look in his eyes made her heart skip. “What do you mean?”
“Cara, I dinnae ken much about you. Yet I understand the truth of who God created you to be.”
“O Jesus, Strong Lion, Immortal and Invincible King, I pray for Cara, that she will know that no’ for a single moment was she ever unwanted.” His words penetrated deep into the most painful parts of her heart that she tried to keep away from everyone, even the Lord, feeling unworthy of His love. She tried to pull away, but his grip tightened around her hand. “The world has devoured her, but I pray you break every lie that has been spoken over her.” Tears cloaked her cheeks as she remembered every slap from her aunt and uncle, each punishment Duncan had meted out for her failures. Deep sorrow
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She locked eyes with Hector, expecting to find regret in them, but he held her eyes as intensely as he had a moment ago. So much shared yet left unsaid.
By far Malcolm’s most conscientious act of service had been five years ago when he stayed beside him in the locked chamber while his body craved the drink that kept memories at bay. Sweating, overcome with tremors, and imagining the worst horrors witnessed in a dozen battles, Hector succumbed to the process of poison leaving his body. All the while, Malcolm stood faithful guard, tending him through humiliating bodily release. They’d never spoken of those five terrible days and nights, but an unspoken closeness had existed between them ever since.
This is how soul deep bonds of brotherhood are formed
“I am Cara O’Ballevan, the only daughter of Eamon O’Ballevan, a distant descendent of the Chiefs of Uí Briúin of Connacht, a gentlewoman of no standing. I become your faithful servant from this day forward, Hector Reaganach MacLean of Clan MacLean, of life and limb, and of earthly fealty, and unto you shall be true and faithful, and bear to you my faith for all that you may require of me, saving the faith that I owe to our sovereign Almighty God. This is my solemn vow.” “Cara…” “I’ve come here to pledge my fealty to you as a widow, renouncing all others and my homeland. Please accept me into
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It would be the last time they were alone together. She fixed him to her memory, and then, as she had when they met, lifted to her toes and pressed a kiss to his scarred cheek. “I will love you always.”
Hector held her eye for a moment, then took a knee and bowed his head. Emotion caught in her throat; he’d wanted her to have this moment. Her heart broke. She would rather have him.
He had been about to release his final arrow when he’d heard the voice speak boldly. Protect her. And he’d known. He’d made the most howling mistake.
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Anger pounded through Hector’s heart, and he rose, filled with holy fire. Protect her. His voice came out darker and more foreboding than even Iain could mimic. “Enough.”
You may trust him with your suffering because he too has suffered.”
Remembering that he was allowed to feel the things he was feeling for her, Hector agreed. “Aye, bonny.”
“Dinnae rob me of my blessing. You are my gift. Wherever God leads us, or whatever he calls us to, his provision is already there. It might be just enough, not an abundance. But it is all that we need.”
“It is a reason for you to depend all the more on God. And if the result is that you have come to faith because of it, it is the greatest blessing upon your life.”
Remember, you’re always in control of your mind, it is where you must live, even if you’re knocked to the ground. No man can enter your mind, and no man can take it from you.”
Peace doesnae mean passiveness. Peace requires courage.
I refuse to be chained to a past I’ve been forgiven for.
Yet, as I held him, I felt it. He wasn’t like him. His heart was still soft. He was a lost man, no’ a bitter man.”
