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“Okay, new girl has claws.” His voice turns a bit rough. “I like it.”
“Yeah, you do. It sounds like you’ve got honey in your mouth when you’re talking.”
“And it sounds like you have bullshit in yours.
“You remind me of honeysuckle. Nectar sweet as honey, like the sound of your voice. But the berries are deceiving–poisonous if consumed.” He shrugs playfully. “Beautiful and deadly.”
“That boy is a heathen. If you’re smart, you’d stay far away from him.”
The handwriting I remember as well as my own is scrolled across the page, and I feel my heart split open as her words filter their way between the cracks.
“Is your name really Honeysuckle?”
“No, I just call her honeysuckle because her mouth reminds me of it. Sweet yet dangerous.”
“You don’t have to talk to me, but I’m still going to walk you home,”
“Because now that I know you’re walking out here alone, I need to know you get home safely.
If I let you walk away and I never see you again, I’ll be wondering for the rest of my life if something happened to you.
“My grandma called you that. I thought it meant a…delinquent?”
“Is that what you think I am, honey?”
“You seem like the type of person who doesn’t care much...
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“I care about following the right rules, but I guess…yeah, I am a heathen.”
I told her she reminded me of honeysuckle because her voice was sweet, but her words were poisonous. Truthfully, though, everything about her reminds me of honey.
I’ve always loved the beauty of the boardwalk night, but I quickly realize it holds no comparison to the golden girl standing in front of me now.
His blue eyes may be the brightest I’ve ever seen, full of light and life, but they’re also haunted.
“That’s where you’re wrong, honeysuckle. Nobody loves me. I can only hurt myself.”
Every day I spend with her, I go a little deeper, trust her a little more. I think she does with me too.
“I want to bring you with me because you scare my ghosts away, Darby.”
I squeeze her hand four times. I’ll. Keep. You. Safe. We jump together, free-falling into the abyss.
“You came,” she whispers, breaking the silence.
“You needed me.”
I’ll never be able to admit to her how it felt to imagine her walking down that aisle, marrying a man we both know she’ll never love the way she loved me.
Having her in my arms feels like the last ten years of my life have suddenly been erased.
I’ve split my lifetime in two: before Darby and after Darby. I haven’t allowed myself to savor the blip of time that ...
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She’s always had the key to my heart. She always fucking will.
“Breathe for me, honey.” After a few long moments, she begins to calm. “What do you want right now? What do you need?”
“You feelin’ like a heathen now, honeysuckle?”
“You’re beautiful, Darby. You’ll get a lot of attention. You don’t have to do any of those things. In fact, please absolutely do not hook up with anyone you meet at that party. I’m begging that of you.”
“I’m here to be whatever you need from me. You want to go home? I’ll take you home, Darby. I’ve got a car. I’ll find a plane. A submarine. I don’t fucking care. Just say the word.”
“You look beautiful,” Leo whispers into my ear. “Another reason I’m going to have to go all neanderthal on these other guys tonight.”
My body is extra warm in all the places he touches me: his arm around my shoulder, his hand at my waist. He’s never not touching me, and I savor that.
I want to know what it feels like to be touched by him everywhere, all the time.
“I haven’t found anyone I want to give a piece of my soul to yet…and I don’t want to take anything from someone else that I’m not willing to give back,”
“Stop looking at me like that, honeysuckle.”
“Like you’re wondering what a piece of my soul feels like.”
“Just remember, honeysuckle: if another guy touches you, I’ll remove his arms.”
She was hours away from marrying someone else, belonging wholly to someone else. While I only ever got pieces of her.
I knew you wouldn’t come all this way just to tell her she’s a raging bitch.”
“Why would I ever say that to her?”
She sticks her bottom lip out, and I swear to every god I don’t believe in that if she keeps looking at me that way, I’ll give her everything she’s ever wanted.
I don’t even like Cheetos. I just like her. I like that she’s sharing with me, so I’ll force it down simply because she offered it.
“Don’t ever hide your smiles from me, honeysuckle. I need to see every single one, especially the ones I put there.”
She giggles, and it feels as if I’m being blasted with a burst of light. I can’t help but return it.
“I’ve never really wanted to, honestly,” she continues. “But… I think I want to kiss you. I…” She looks at me, hazel eyes shimmering in the moonlight. “I want you to kiss me.”
It feels like one of those moments where you suddenly realize you’d been longing for something your entire life, but you weren’t sure what it was until it was standing in front of you.
“Honeysuckle, baby,” I groan. This physically hurts. “You know I can’t kiss you when you’re intoxicated. You’re not even sure you really want it.”
When she steps back from me, disappointment is plastered on her face. I’m wrecked.
