More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
It’s easy to fake being okay when you’re used to having all eyes on you.
“We just got here and you’re already looking for her.”
She looks like a fucking dream, though it’s nothing new. I’ve seen her in the most comfortable, casual clothing and she always looks stunning.
but I want you to know you’re not alone.”
“I’m here and I don’t want you to feel like you need to do this alone. When I said I wanted to be there for Phoenix, I also meant I’d be there for you.”
I meant what I said. I want us to be okay, I want us to work things out. We’re going to be in each other’s lives for the rest of our lives, and I hope you’re okay with that because I’ve never been more okay with anything more in my life.”
“Lola, you’re looking at me. That’s all that matters.”
“You are fucking intoxicating.”
“Let’s pretend you’re mine.”
There’s something mischievous about the way he looks at me, something possessive about the way holds me, and something controlling about the way he says it.
“If you could, would you take senior week back?” He doesn’t hesitate as he answers. “No. Taking it all back would mean not meeting you, and not meeting you would mean no Phoenix, and a world without Phoenix is a world I can’t imagine.”
“Come on, Peaches, you can’t tell me this isn’t real?”
I’ve seen thousands of people wearing a jersey or shirt with my number or last name on it, but no one has ever looked as good as Lola looks right now.
“Did you just buy the machine?” “Uh…yeah.” I sheepishly smile, setting the mugs down. “I just thought I could make coffee whenever you and Phoenix come over.”
She smiles and it’s not the small, forced, trying to be nice kind of smile. It’s the special kind I’ve seen her reserve for Phoenix, her best friends, and unfortunately…Saint.
I’m a weak man for Lola Larson.
“Phoenix is important and so are you. If you’re happy, then I know he’s happy, and that’s all I want.”
From the very beginning, my soul collided with hers, and it’s never been able to let go.
“We’re not pretending anymore,” I say, hanging up the call. “I know.”
“I’m not pretending right now. I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“I promise it wasn’t pretend. I meant it. I mean it.”
“You’re extraordinary. I swear you will never stop amazing me.”
Since I’ve met him, I can’t imagine my life without him. It’s hard to believe a world where Phoenix doesn’t exist. I don’t and can’t begin to describe the unconditional love I have for him.
“I can’t say. I’ve been sworn into secrecy.” He pretends to zip his lips. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. “Secrecy?” “We’re part of the OCC. It’s in our oath.” I blink. “OCC? Oath?” “Only Child’s Club. We don’t have siblings, so we rely on each other, that kind of thing.”
“Seriously, hurry up. I don’t understand why it’s taking you so long to pick a damn book. Who needs that many books anyway?” There are two books in his duffle, and he’s currently holding one in each hand, debating which one he wants to take. “I don’t know what mood I’ll be in.” “Mood? Does it even matter? It’s a book. Let’s go.” He whips his head in my direction, staring at me like I’ve offended him. “God, you know nothing. I can’t just take any book. I have to have options.” My gaze drops to his duffle, staring at a very familiar and worn book. “Didn’t you already read that one?” “It’s called
...more
“I like her a lot. I like her so goddamn much, I don’t just physically want her, I need her. Everything she has, I want.
I don’t know when it all happened, when I fell so fucking hard for her, but all I know is that I want to be with Lola.
What I feel for TJ is not just a hapless infatuation. And I have to stop lying and telling myself that I don’t miss him because I do, I really do.
We created this little routine, and I didn’t realize how much I missed it and him until I saw him again this morning.
“I was doing my goddamn best not to imagine how I’d fuck you against this pool table.” He pulls the cue until there’s hardly any space between us. My hands become slick with sweat, and my thighs clench as his words paint a very dirty picture in my head. “So no, I wasn’t going easy on you. I was too distracted thinking of the many ways I’d like to fuck you, Lola.”
I want to see every inch of you. Your stretch marks aren’t going to deter me from appreciating your body the way I’m supposed to.”
“Bother me? Lola.” I drop my hand from the hem and chin and cup her jaw with both hands. “You had our son. You brought life into the world. They’re proof once again of how astoundingly resilient you are. Please, for the love of God, don’t ever feel like you need to feel embarrassed or hide them from me or anyone else. They’re part of something beautiful that you and I created.”
“I can’t stop looking at you like this because I am enjoying this way too much. Don’t ever ask me to stop because as long as I get to see you like this, I’ll never stop enjoying it. Not until I have every inch of you memorized.”
“The world would be too boring if I didn’t add a little chaos into it.”
Fuck it. “I think about you a lot. So much that you’ve permanently cemented yourself in my dreams and my thoughts. I think about you so much, it’s probably become unhealthy because I obsess over having your attention on me. “
“I’ve tried to control what I feel because sometimes it’s too much and my heart feels too tight. But it’s stupid and I should know fighting the inevitable is pointless. I like you a lot, and I can’t stop feeling what I feel for you, not unless you tell me to stop.”
“I just want to be yours, like I want you to be mine.” Desperation pours from my mouth. “It doesn’t matter how many miles and people are between us. It’s only you and me.” I unhook my finger, interlocking my fingers between her slender ones. “Give me a chance and let me prove it to you. Please, Lola, please.”
“Nothing about you is a waste of time.”
I realize I’ve already found my happy as I twist the extremely worn out leather bracelet.
I once said I was a weak man for her and I meant that. I am a weak man for Lola.
“Possessive, obsessive, and clingy as fuck. I hope you’re okay with that.”
“A chaotic sunset is what I painted. They make me think of you.”
“El amor es para pendejos,”
He stares at you like if he doesn’t look at you every five seconds, you’re going to vanish into thin air. Poof.”
“He looks at you the way delusional people wish to be looked at.” I grin. “Delusional people?” “The lovesick fools who wish for those bullshit fairy-tale romances.”
I know Lola is and will always be it for me. Aside from basketball, I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life, and Lola is a sure thing.
My life has always been fast-paced, and it’ll always be like that, but being here with them, it always seems to slow down. The chaos in my life ceases, letting me catch up and appreciate every second I spend with them.
my family, I realize they’re all I need.
“I empower you?” “You do.”
“Love really makes you do wild things because past TJ would never.” “Past TJ would have burnt the house down.” “Past TJ would not be using seasonings.” “Or limes.” “We’re fucked. The world is ending. That’s the only explanation for this.”
