Rush (City Lights Series, #3)

by Emma Scott

I thought I could stare at those eyes all day, become lost in their beauty.

“My Spidey senses are tingling,” he said. “You’re staring at me, aren’t you?”

“Okay. I’ll see you Monday.” I winced. “I mean, I’ll come back Monday. Eight a.m. sharp.” I was nearly at the stairs that led down when Noah said, “See you then, Charlotte.”

“I love you, Charlotte. More than the earth and sea and the big sky above.”

“I can’t help but feel a sense of hope for my Noah. Thank you, Charlotte, for being here.”

Noah wore his pain like a spiky set of armor. Mine was buried down deep where I could pretend it didn’t exist so I could get through the day, but in the end, it was the same thing, wasn’t it?

Noah didn’t have that. He didn’t have anyone. But me.

I was afraid it would snap and hurt her in a way that couldn’t be forgiven, that I would poison her inherent sweetness with my venom.

She was crying. Dammit to hell, I’d made her cry.

He didn’t smile. Not even close. But someday, I vowed, I’m going to get him to smile if it kills me.

“That’s why he’s an idiot. To have someone like you. To have earned the time and affection and the…the love of someone like you.”

“Charlotte?” “Yes?” “I’m sorry I told you to shut up.”

I didn’t have the words. But right then, I wished I did. I wished there were some way to give it all back to him. The sunsets and the blues skies and even his adrenaline rushes…

And now…I’d never see my wife on our wedding day. I’d never see her walk down the aisle toward me in her dress. I’d never see her face the first time I told her I loved her. I’d never see the faces of any children we might have. My own kids would be mysteries to me.

“How do you do that?” he breathed. “How do you know what to do and say so that I feel…?” “So that you feel what?” “Whole. You make me feel like I have a shot at something more than this misery.”

I didn’t have anything to give her, not one damn thing, but I could make her feel good about her job.

I sucked it down, vowing Charlotte would never have to suffer me snarling at her ever again.

I hadn’t “seen” enough to form a concrete image but enough to know she was beautiful. Christ, of course she was. Her exterior reflected the beauty within.

I wished I could be something good and whole for her.

He turned to me, his eyes always searching.

“God, Charlotte, you’re unbelievable,” he said. “I must have done something right for you to be here.”

Charlotte called up to me. “Ready?” No. But I’m trying, baby. I really am. “On my way,” I called back and went out.

You deserve everything.” “I have everything.”

“Charlotte, I can’t see your face. I need to know…” “I’m smiling at you, Noah,” she said softly, stroking my cheek. “Because I’m so happy we’re here. I’m so happy it’s you.”

I knew I had become her entire world too.

We lay this way for a while, neither of us saying a word, until she finally lifted her head and kissed me one last time, breathing life into me when nothing and no one else had before.

“I’m here for you.” His hard edges softened with gratitude. “And that’s how I get through this weekend.”

“She’s the one good thing that’s happened to me since the accident. I’d do anything for her. Anything.”

I’d dance with him and fulfill some strange daydream I’d had since the very first time I met him.

I had only known him as blind, and that blindness was a part of what made him the man I’d entrusted with my heart.

“She is a thing of beauty. Her eyes…they are full of love when they look at you.”

I’m so sorry, baby. I want that dance with you, I do…

I do, God help me, I do. I love Charlotte and I never told her…

I hoped to God she was safely tucked in the back of a cab, hating me but safe. Please, I prayed as Val led me back to the elevators. Anything. I’ll do anything so long as she’s okay.

“I love you more than my own self, and that’s the only reason I can walk out that door tonight.”

“I know. And it is. But he’s the best thing too, though he doesn’t realize it. Not yet.”

For Noah. For Chris. For me.

But sometimes that’s just how it is with people; a connection is made, and it can transcend space and time. It can make family out of strangers.

My grief wasn’t deep or poetic. It was sinister in its simplicity. I wanted to see again and I never would.

Because that’s what Charlotte deserved. The best violin I could afford and the best version of me when all was said and done.

“Yes. My boyfriend.” The love of my life.

I only wanted Charlotte, would only ever want Charlotte. My love for her ran so deep, it left room for nothing else, not even curiosity.

The beauty of the world is not closed to him; he just experiences it differently now.

“You deserve more than what’s left of me.” “There’s so much.”

Marit was an angel of mercy, and she was beautiful.

What remained was what it meant to be a man who loved a woman as much as I did.

Had I once thought that a sacrifice? Damn, I’d give it again. I’d give more. Everything. Every breath. Every beat of my heart was for her.

My girl. My love. My Charlotte.

My life. She is my life.

“A last wish I’m afraid won’t ever fade. I’ve made peace with my blindness, but if I could see just once more—just one thing in this world—it would be you. I would only need a second. One second, and I would hold the image of you in my heart forever.”