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Nothing about my successes gave me joy. Talking about my accomplishments just reminded me of how much I had lost. “You’ve made some major achievements since you came back to Seattle,”
Everyone thought it was the article that had changed my life. It wasn’t. It had been the six months I’d spent in Montana. It had been the six months I’d spent with him.
“I’m just going to lay it out there,” he said. “You’re beautiful.” Those words, ones that should have elicited a beaming smile, made me brace. His tone was dreadfully serious. The next statement was certain to ruin his pretty words. “We’re from two different worlds. Let’s not get wrapped up in this physical connection, or whatever this is, and do something stupid.”
No man would ever hold me this well. I was made to be wrapped in these arms. A woman could tell a lot by the way a man holds her. She could tell if he had the strength to endure the rougher moments. If he had a mighty yet kind heart. If he could make her feel safe and cherished.
I wanted a man who would hold my hand, squeezing it every now and again so I knew I wasn’t alone as I waged my own war. I wanted a man who would push me to keep battling because he knew I’d eventually win.
I leaned back so I could look at his face. “Shortcake?” “Seems only fair that you have a nickname too.” I shook my head. “But I’m not short. And cake? I’m the farthest thing from sweet.” One of his arms unwound from behind me so his hand could cup my jaw. With his thumb stroking my cheek and his fingers threaded into my hair, he whispered, “You’re sweet, and to me, you’ll always be short.” My knees buckled. They actually buckled and he hadn’t even kissed me. Heaven help me if he ever did. I’d probably faint and miss all the good stuff. “Easy,” he said, taking my weight and lifting me back up.
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“I’ll make you a deal, Shortcake. When the mafia isn’t a threat, you’re not considering WITSEC and life goes back to normal, I’ll meet you in Disney World and take you on the vacation six-year-old Sabrina never had.” I smiled. “You’ve got a deal, Goliath.”
No more kidding myself that she’d learn to love it here. Because she’d never stay.
I wasn’t a reporter anymore. I was an author. And I wasn’t ever looking back.
“Ivan Federov showed in Prescott today.”
With a heavy heart, I was going to write Felicity and tell her to plan her wedding without me.
I wanted her. Every piece. Maybe Maisy had been right and Sabrina could find a way to like it here after all. I was going to start doing whatever I could to make her fall in love with Montana. If she did? I’d be one lucky man. If she didn’t? Well, I’d still be lucky. I was coming to realize that even if I only had Sabrina for a short time, anything with her was better than nothing.
“Is that true?” “What? That I don’t like dog bathwater in my mouth? Of course, who would?” “No.” He shook his head. “That you like it here.” “Oh. Well, yeah.” All the muscles in his face relaxed except for the corner of his mouth that turned up. “Good. That didn’t take as long as I thought it would.” “Huh?” “Nothing, Shortcake.” He chuckled and sank backward into the water. “I’m just glad you approve.”
Maybe one day I’d get the chance to visit this place again. I could take a vacation back in Montana when my ordeal with the Federovs was all over.
Good people don’t just see the good in others, they see it in themselves too.
I had missed him being at the outpost these last couple of months. Not just because I was lonely but because I’d often found myself wanting to tell him something or ask him a question.
But Gigi, Jess’s wife, was at the hospital when I brought them in. She’s a nurse. The scariest moment of my life was when I was sitting with her, waiting for a doctor to come out and tell us if Jess was going to live. I knew if he didn’t make it, I’d see her heart break.”
“Okay, I’ve got one. Who’s your favorite sibling?” “Michael.” He grinned but then pointed his index finger at me in warning. “But if you ever tell Maisy, I’m taking you over my knee.”
The noise was comforting, louder than a rainy day in Seattle, but so blissfully familiar that I melted further into Beau’s side. “I missed the rain,” I whispered. “It feels like home.” Beau’s frame deflated and he pushed out a pained breath. I couldn’t even begin to guess why. “What?” I asked. “Nothing,” he muttered. “You have to tell me. Game rules.” “Then I’ll take my pass.” My spirits fell. “Okay.”
“If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?” “Disney World,” he answered immediately. I smiled, glad he was teasing me to lighten the mood. “No, seriously. Where would you go?” “Disney World,” he repeated. My smile dropped. “Why?” He had promised to take me there when the Federovs were no longer a threat. Was it because he wanted to see me again? Would he miss me too after I was gone? “Because that means you’re safe from the Federovs,” he said, “and this whole mess will be over.” Right. He didn’t want to see me again. He wanted to be done with this mess. The hope I’d felt
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“Beau?” “Hmm.” “Why did you stop spending the night?” I whispered. “You know why,” he whispered back.
“We would never stop at just a kiss.” I smiled. “Would that be so bad?” “Woman, it would be fucking incredible.”
What was he waiting for? My pride wouldn’t let me ask. I stayed quiet, hoping he would explain further, but after a few brutal minutes, I realized that I’d just been rejected. Again. It was time to regain our usual distance.
“Number one. When a beautiful woman asks you to kiss her, unless you’re married, have a girlfriend or have a damn good reason not to, do the right thing and kiss her. Number two. If you don’t kiss her, it is not an appropriate excuse to tell her that it’s because sex between you would be incredible. That makes it worse! And number three. When you completely embarrass a woman, the last thing you should say was that it was fun!”
There was no way I was fucking you the same day you told me that you considered yourself a whore. That’s my damn good reason for not kissing you last night.”
“Beau.” His name came out in a breathless plea. “Fuck it,” he growled. “Huh?” His soft, full lips came crashing down on mine.
“Sabrina, this is my brother, Michael.” After shaking Michael’s hand, Beau continued. “And this is Nick Slater.”
From the sounds of the team’s dissension, Beau wasn’t the only one who thought Dylan was reckless.
“Beau’s fought a lot of fires, Sabrina,” Michael said. “He was a hotshot in college and then a team leader for a few years. He’d still be running a crew if he had the time.”
I don’t want him to think that I’m still that little kid, copying everything he does. I just really like his dog.”
I’m reporting him as soon as I get back to town.”
My life in Seattle would be simpler, better, if I downsized a bit. My closet needed to be cleaned out and clothes sent to charity. I would do a better job of cooking for myself rather than constantly eating out. I might even consider finding a smaller, less extravagant apartment.
Maybe it was woman’s intuition but I knew Dylan wasn’t just a Creepy Carl. His interest in me went well beyond an ill-placed crush.
“Back off? She wants me, guys.” Dylan wiped a dribble of liquid from his chin. “You know how it is. She’s just playing hard to get.” “The fuck she is,” Michael said, pulling me farther behind him. “You’ll see, Holt. You’ll all see.” His strange threat sent an icy wave of chills down my spine.
“Nope. Just don’t worry about me and rush. Take the time to do what you need to do.” “You’re the toughest woman I’ve ever met, Sabrina MacKenzie.” He grabbed the hair I’d been twirling out of my fingers. “But I think I’ll always worry about you.” Just like I’d always worry about him when we were apart.
With Beau’s eyes staring right into my soul, I didn’t have one worry about where we were headed. I’d follow him anywhere on earth.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen in one month or two, Beau. I don’t really even know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but I do know that you’d never intentionally hurt me.” “This thing between us isn’t small.” “No, but it’s not going away.” “Are you sure you want to sign up for something that could end in disaster?” “Are you?” He nodded. “I’m not going to lie and say I don’t want you. We both know I do. But I’m going into this with eyes wide open.” “Me too. I don’t want to always wonder ‘what if.’ ” He studied me for a moment before sighing. “Okay.”
He had this look in his eyes every time he talked about her that said please make her my sister-in-law.
She’s leaving. She’s made for bigger and better things than a simple life with me. She doesn’t belong in Montana.
What concerned me most was why he’d come calling now. I’d disappeared months ago.
“Why did you get mad?” “Let’s just say, I was upset that you didn’t have an open mind.” “Huh?” “No more questions.”
Standing stark naked in all his glory, Beau had gotten rid of something he’d had for eight years just to satisfy my curious nature and make me happy.
It was time to bring her into my home. And once she was settled there, I was going to ask her to stay. For good.
If I weren’t in danger—if life could go back to normal—I’d uproot everything and fit my life to his just to avoid the pain of leaving his side. All he had to do was ask me to stay.
“Yes. If it was safe, I’d stay.”
“She’ll be safe?” Beau asked Henry. “On my life, she’ll be safe,” Henry said. Beau’s eyes dropped to mine. “Then you should go home. If I can’t keep you safe here, you have to go.”
“I didn’t mean what I said earlier, Sabrina. You’re not a hassle.” “I know,” I lied. “We were just mad and talking crazy. And hey,” I shrugged, “this all worked out for the best. Now we don’t need to worry about too many people finding out I’m here. It will be good for you to go back to a normal routine and for me to go back to the city. I’ve really missed it.” That lie was so convincing, I almost believed it myself.
“Please, be careful, Sabrina.” I nodded but kept crying. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe here longer.” Me too. “I’ll miss you,” he whispered. Then tell me not to go. Tell me there is somewhere else to keep me safe. Tell me you’ll come with me to Seattle. Tell me anything.
When Boone nudged between our legs, I dropped to the floor and wrapped my arms around his neck, the sobs coming uncontrollably as I said good-bye to Beau’s dog. As I said good-bye to my dog. “I love you,” I whispered to Boone, hoping that Beau would know I was talking to him too.
I couldn’t force Sabrina into my life in Montana, but I could fit myself into her life here.
