Worst Wingman Ever

by Abby Jimenez

worst wingman ever

ROLLLLLLLLLLL CREDITS

replaced with a page torn from a ceiling-fan-installation pamphlet.

I checked the tire to see if the card was still there. It wasn’t. There was a nurse bobblehead instead.

I was in work clothes. I had paint on my jeans, my steel-toe boots were scuffed. My beard was grown out, I needed a haircut.

And?? Still would smash

“You’re gonna have so many people waiting for you in heaven one day, beautiful girl,” she said quietly. “I’ll be the first one in line.”

I probably wouldn’t kill a guy, but I would definitely never accept anything less than what I deserved, ever again.