Worst Wingman Ever

by Abby Jimenez

I’d seen waaay too many cautionary videos about this exact situation: a kidnapper puts something on your car, you pause to look at it, and he grabs you while you’re distracted and takes you to be murdered. I was not getting unalived on Valentine’s Day, on principle.

Some girl would be on YouTube three years from now, doing her makeup while she covered the chilling Valentine’s Day death of a local single Burbank nurse, who died because she didn’t have a boyfriend to walk her to her car. No, thank you. Kill me tomorrow.

Shanna saaa Shanna saaa. Shanna shaaa shaaa Shanna shaaaaaaaa

I was always really good at compartmentalizing what I did for a living. I think that was part of my gift. I had the compassion that the duties required, but also the ability to leave it behind the moment I stepped out the door. Now when I left my assignment, I got in my car and cried.

This💯💯💯

Because my assignment was to watch my grandmother die.

Time is such a precious thing. How you spend it, how you waste it. And it becomes even more valuable as the hourglass runs out, because you will never get more of it. I see it every day. The panic as the last grains of sand fall.

He also stole my neti pot, which for some reason pissed me off more than the cheating. He does not deserve clear sinuses.

“You want the guys buying the red tools,” she said, making eye contact with each of us. “Red tools are a green flag.”

“Why red?” Mom asked, drying a bowl with a rag.

“Those are the expensive, professional ones.” She propped her foot on the edge of Grandma’s bed and did a hamstring stretch. “You could make an exception for a guy with yellow t...

“No green,” I said, smacking her foot off the com...

Mom was shaking her head. “Where did you l...

“I drink iced coffee and I kn...

Because my self-esteem is shattered? Because I’m not ready to trust someone yet? Because my heart is about to be broken in a way I’ve never known, and there isn’t room for more?

That’s the thing about kindness. You never know how big the ripple is. How one little selfless gesture can make all the difference for the person who receives it.

No, the whole point in me telling you this story is to remind you that we need to manifest our own destiny. I never accepted less than what I deserved ever again. Never ignored a red flag or excused bad behavior. I asked for what I wanted, and I protected those I loved, and I demanded the things I needed, and I had a beautiful life.

“Take responsibility for your own unhappiness, Holly. If you don’t love your life, change it.”

“You’re gonna have so many people waiting for you in heaven one day, beautiful girl,” she said quietly. “I’ll be the first one in line.”

“Imagine having to kill a guy named Chip,” she whispered. “That would piss me off. Like, you’re gonna have a stupid name and be an asshole? Pick a struggle.”