Worst Wingman Ever

by Abby Jimenez

She slipped her jade bracelet off her wrist. “Here. This is yours.” My face went soft. “Grandma, I can’t take this. Grandpa gave you this.” “You can take it. I don’t want to be buried in it. In fact, I don’t want to be buried in any of my jewelry.” “What about your wedding ring?” I said. “No. People bury the silliest things. Why would you throw something like that away?” “Because it’s yours. It should be with you.” She shook her head. “Let it be with someone who will love it. Sell it if you don’t want it. Let it be a gift for a stranger. Things should bring joy.

I don’t know how, but it felt like this stranger was a guardian angel. Like the universe had put him here to be there when I needed him with his small giant acts of kindness.

“You are a giver. You do everything for everyone else before you do a single thing for you. I honestly think that’s why the Brenda thing hit you so hard. Instead of being like, ‘Wow! This is a great guy!’ she took it for granted and screwed you over, and when she left, you had nobody to love, and you didn’t know how to love yourself.”

I brushed the hair back off her forehead, put some of Jillian’s lip balm on her lips. Lit her favorite candle. Then I picked up her hand and pressed the back of it to my cheek and closed my eyes. I was going to miss her so much. I wasn’t ready. My job was to help others be ready, but I couldn’t do it for myself. I felt like I couldn’t do anything for myself right now. I couldn’t unpack my apartment or ask a cute guy for his name in a courtyard. I couldn’t even put air in my tires. I knew my life would kick-start again. But it wouldn’t happen until hers was over. It would happen because hers was over and I had no choice but to keep going on.

Hearing my name made the knot bolt to my throat. Because the truth was, I thought I’d already heard her say it for the last time.

“You’re gonna have so many people waiting for you in heaven one day, beautiful girl,” she said quietly. “I’ll be the first one in line.”

“I’d shove a dead guy into a river for you. I’d shove a live one in there too.”

It was weird to say, but I felt like I might think about her for the rest of my life. Like she would be my one “What If.”

And love isn’t going to come find me in my living room.” Someone knocked on the door. “I gotta go. The maintenance guy is here. Six?”

little did she know