Worst Wingman Ever

by Abby Jimenez

“But I’m going to take a break from dating for the foreseeable future.” “Why?” Jillian asked. Because my self-esteem is shattered? Because I’m not ready to trust someone yet? Because my heart is about to be broken in a way I’ve never known, and there isn’t room for more?

“Handsome as a fox but mean as a snake,”

That’s what you do, right? When you find love, you follow it.

There was something fundamentally wrong there. Some red flag that had been waving that I was too in love to see. I’d dodged a bullet, I saw that now. But regardless of my new, healthier state of mind around my breakup, my life was still sort of . . . off.

“I hope I die like that,” she said. “Or doing what I love.” “Not me. I wanna die doing what I hate. Put me out of my misery, kill me on the stair-stepper.”

That’s the thing about kindness. You never know how big the ripple is. How one little selfless gesture can make all the difference for the person who receives it.

Somebody told me once that it only takes a few minutes to know if you like someone. That our initial impression is usually the right one.

“You are a giver. You do everything for everyone else before you do a single thing for you. I honestly think that’s why the Brenda thing hit you so hard. Instead of being like, ‘Wow! This is a great guy!’ she took it for granted and screwed you over, and when she left, you had nobody to love, and you didn’t know how to love yourself.”

No, the whole point in me telling you this story is to remind you that we need to manifest our own destiny. I never accepted less than what I deserved ever again. Never ignored a red flag or excused bad behavior. I asked for what I wanted, and I protected those I loved, and I demanded the things I needed, and I had a beautiful life.

“Take responsibility for your own unhappiness, Holly. If you don’t love your life, change it.”