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I was skeptical of every single person in this room. Sure, we knew each other once. We spent every summer together since we were eight years old, but did that mean we really knew each other?
And Lord knows, Blakely needed constant stimulation and attention. I sat staring at Blakely, waiting for her to speak. She’d been entirely too quiet so far.
“Who’s a bad man?” I asked. “What are you talking about? You’re not making any sense.”
WTAF???
“I can’t tell you everything right now because it would take too long and they’re waiting on us, but he makes me sleep in the yard. Sometimes he locks me in the shed. Starves me for days. Controls absolutely everything I do. I promise I’ll explain all of it as soon as we get outside with the others.”
um what???
He only cares about himself and money. That’s it. I always tried telling you that, but you just looked at me like I was a spoiled brat.
How did this have anything to do with the notes? With all of us? What were we doing here? This was supposed to be about the notes. Not her. Or had it always been about her? Had she set this whole thing up?
Her fingernails dug farther into me. Desperation clung to her voice.
She said it like she’d said it that summer. The visceral memory of it hit me like a real force. “I need to know that you’re going to love me no matter what. The others can hate me, but please, promise me that no matter what, you’ll still love me.” “I’ll always love you, Blakely. Nothing changes that.” “Promise?” “Yes, I promise,”
Meg had captured the perfect shot of me and Jared. I still didn’t know how she did it. She hadn’t wanted me to show it to them. At first, she hadn’t even wanted to give it to me. She wanted to keep it, like it was hers or something, but it wasn’t hers. It was mine. I’d done all the hard work.
But Meg didn’t look at the picture. She just wrinkled her face and looked irritated.
“You can’t show them that,” she snapped and immediately snatched the picture back from me.
exactly. how dumb IS Blakely
We locked eyes. Like two dogs trying to establish dominance, but she was no match for me.
She was in one of her pissy moods again tonight, and unlike Thera, I had no clue how to make her feel better.
“That makes it look like something happened between you guys.” “Exactly!” I giggled, proudly waving the picture in the air and dancing around. “That’s the point.” Meg shook her head. Adamant. “What if someone else sees it? That could really get Mr. Crosby in trouble.”
“Oh, nothing, it’s just like I said before—he’s definitely into me. That’s for sure. But he was too afraid to do anything.
“You can’t show that to Clint. You can’t show that to anyone,” Meg said, doubling down. She sounded like a broken record. “Can you stop being such a baby about this, please?” I asked her. “It’s not that big of a deal.” “Yeah,” Thera said, coming to stand next to me. “It’s just a senior prank. That’s the point of senior summer.” I took a step back, surprised at her sudden support. She looked so upset seconds ago, and I thought she’d be on Meg’s side for sure, especially since she’d been against my relationship with Jared since the beginning. Her change of heart was totally surprising, but I
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Who knows what they’ll do with it.”
They’d been calling everyone in all morning. Anyone that had a class or private lesson with Mr. Crosby, which was practically half of camp.
This wasn’t part of the plan, but for some reason, Clint thought it would be so funny to tape the picture of Blakely and Mr. Crosby on Mr. Crosby’s computer. Blakely agreed but only because she said she’d use it as an opportunity to get the picture back from him, which followed no logical reasoning and made no sense. But none of her thinking about Mr. Crosby was rational. She’d literally gone boy crazy.
Thera looked devastated. She stopped walking like she’d actually hit a wall. Even though she’d switched her opinion on how she felt about the picture and Blakely’s relationship with Mr. Crosby way too many times to count, the fact that Blakely had picked me again over her hurt. I’d been so proud and happy. It didn’t matter that I didn’t agree with what we were doing either. I mouthed “Sorry” to Thera, even though I really wasn’t, and hurried inside after Blakely.
She’d been the one to find the picture, and she’d flipped. She’d bypassed Mr. Crosby and gone straight to the dean. Since Blakely was the one in the photo, she was the first person the dean questioned.
She shook her head and looked innocent. Sweet. Except I knew when someone was faking it, and she was definitely faking it.
“You told him nothing happened with Mr. Crosby, though, right?” I pressed, refusing to let her change the subject or not give me a straight answer. “I told him I had a crush on Jared. It’s like whatever . . .” She rolled her eyes. It wasn’t whatever. This was a big deal.
I hadn’t gone into the office. I didn’t put the picture on Mr. Crosby’s computer. All I’d done was watch.
yes but standing by and LETTING bad things happen is just as bad
Blakely pretended to be upset by all this, but she loved the attention. Everyone had been treating her like a celebrity all day, thinking she hooked up with Crosby.
It hadn’t gone down like she said it had, and it certainly wasn’t anything like the picture suggested it was.
I didn’t know the truth anymore. Not really. I’d watched through the office door window as Blakely had gone in there that night to talk to Mr. Crosby. Her back had been toward me the entire time. I hadn’t seen her face. Only his. At first, it was utter surprise. Even though I couldn’t hear anything they were saying, I didn’t need to.
Why was he concerned? What did she say to him? She hadn’t told me. All she’d said was that he was worried his wife would find out about his feelings for her. But he’d pushed his chair away from his desk, farther from her. And maybe I’d seen fear? Something else? I didn’t know. It all happened so fast, and I was so nervous. Plus, I had the camera, waiting for the right time to take the picture.
Then, shaking his head. When suddenly, she stepped into his space and tried to sit on his lap. Like she was about to straddle him. That’s when I snapped the picture.
The truth was nothing had happened. Blakely tried. She’d done exactly what she’d set out to do, and the moment she’d tried to sit on Mr. Crosby’s lap, he’d flung her off like she’d burn him. He threw her so hard she fell backward onto the floor, landing on her butt.
I hadn’t heard anything else they’d said to each other the entire time, but I heard the last part. You couldn’t miss it. “Get out of here!” he’d screamed.
“Yes, you,” I said, slightly annoyed. “Blakely’s not going to confess and say she made it all up, and I told them what you’d told me, but I wasn’t inside the building. You were there with her that night. You can tell them nothing happened and end this whole thing.” “That’s what you told them?” “Of course that’s what I told them,
“Did you talk to Blakely today?” I fingered her chin and lifted her head up. “What’d she say to you?” I wanted her to look me in my face. Right in my eyes and tell me what was going on, because she was the only one there that night, and she’d told me afterward nothing happened between Blakely and Mr. Crosby. That the picture was misleading. She regretted taking it. Felt bad about being part of the entire thing. That’s the last thing she’d said before she went into her interview. Something happened to change her mind. “Did Blakely tell you to lie?”
“Of course you do. Blakely’s had a huge crush on Mr. Crosby since we got here, and Blakely absolutely hates being rejected. Why are you defending her?” Meg refused to make eye contact. “I’m not. I’m just confused.” “You know he didn’t touch her.” “I wasn’t there.” “Yes, you were!
You’ll see what I mean.” This time I was the one to shake my head at her. “No, I won’t, because I know the difference between reality and fantasy.”
grace is the ONLY likable one
How could you hurt your babies? That was the other question everyone wanted to know, and I didn’t have an explanation for that one either. Anyone asking those questions has never lost touch with reality. Your thoughts aren’t linear. And believe me. My behavior was as abhorrent to me as it was to other people.
Jared loved his boys more than life itself, and I just wanted to annihilate him for hurting those girls. I felt strong enough to rip the skin off his body with my bare hands too. That’s what I remembered the most—the white-hot fury pumping through my blood.
At first, I’d been in disbelief when the police officer told me there was an official investigation opened against him. But then there was another girl. Followed quickly by another. They all said the same thing. Told the same story.
Jared became someone else in that moment. My abuser. Their abuser. And every other sick pervert who’d put their hands on a child. I knew exactly what those girls were going through. I used to be them.
We finished practice like it never happened, and by the end of the day, I’d convinced myself it hadn’t. Some strange slip of the hand that I’d made into something else. But that wasn’t the last time. And that wasn’t where he stopped. That was the moment I split into two people—me, the talented and decorated gymnast, and me, the girl who was being raped by the coach helping her earn all the medals.
:( I feel so awful for her
But I clearly remembered that rage. I’d never forget that part. So powerful it’d obliterated the love I felt for my own children.
I listened to the counselor who’d found me down there describe what it was like. How I’d left Jordan lying on a blanket on the sand and was holding Jayden underwater. She testified that I kept yelling at everyone to get away from me and that I was baptizing him to get the evil off him.
Some days I agreed with them. Maybe that’s what happened when evil men squirted themselves inside you. They ruined you forever.
I didn’t want him to think badly about Blakely, and I hated hurting him in any way, even if it wasn’t about me.
You don’t give someone like that the benefit of the doubt. You just don’t.
I couldn’t leave my friends yet. They needed me, especially Blakely. She was a wreck over this. It was the first time I’d ever actually seen her cry. Blakely didn’t cry. Over the years, she might’ve gotten a few tears in her eyes. One or two might’ve even slipped out. But a full-on cry? Never.
“This is all my fault. I never should’ve hooked up with him.” Tried to hook up with him.
She owed Mr. Crosby an apology. I couldn’t deny her that. Maybe this would be the thing to make it right. If she apologized, then maybe the others would too. There was a chance we could save this.
Her voice shook when she finally spoke again. “I’m the one who sent the letters. It wasn’t Regina. It was me.” Nobody moved. Nobody breathed. All of us just stared at Blakely. At the words that had just come out of her mouth. Suddenly, Grace sprung to life. “I knew it!” She slammed her hand on the table so hard it made all the drinks wobble. “Something about this didn’t feel right from the very beginning. I knew it!” She jumped up like she was going to leave, even though she’d barely gotten here and hadn’t given Blakely a chance to explain what she’d done.
“So, you told us that the person we destroyed—the one we’re responsible for putting away for over twenty-five years, bringing all that back up—because you wanted us to see each other again?”
