The Reptile Room (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #2)

by Lemony Snicket

For Beatrice— My love for you shall live forever. You, however, did not.

One of the most difficult things to think about in life is one’s regrets.

Perhaps it would be best if you shut this book right now and never read the rest of this horrifying story.

But this story is not a happy one,

We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up.

and the boy was eaten and the story, thank goodness, was over.

The story’s moral, of course, ought to be “Never live somewhere where wolves are running around loose,” but whoever read you the story probably told you that the moral was not to lie. This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.

I am talking about Little Red Riding Hood, an extremely unpleasant little girl who, like the Boy Who Cried Wolf, insisted on intruding on the territory of dangerous animals.

Lemony 'the hater' Snicket

even a girl as dim-witted as Little Red Riding Hood

“Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don’t touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don’t move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don’t let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey!”

Good thing he didnt panic

She took a deep breath, and then tied her hair in a ribbon, to keep it out of her eyes.

sunk to the floor of the bedroom and pounded my fists against the carpet wondering why in the world life was so unfair and filled with inconveniences.

We all know, of course, that we should never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,

Ever, ever, ever, ever

you are not Violet Baudelaire,

You dont need to remind me