The Ex Vows

by Jessica Joyce

Sometimes I swear adulthood is staring at your phone and wondering which of your friends has enough time to deal with your latest emotional meltdown, then realizing none of them do.

“I remember,” he says, eyes on me. The most dangerous phrase when it comes to us.

“It’s not about not being messy, it’s about being honest with your mess.”

“Relationships are messy, but that’s how you know they’re real.

“You were shown that you weren’t allowed to need things that inconvenienced people, and you learned to make yourself smaller. But why can everyone else be messy and you can’t?” I look at the blurred shape of her, blinking as a tear rolls down my cheek. “Because then I’m alone.”

“I’m not asking you to change your lives, I’m just saying I don’t know where I fit, and that’s hard. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want us to drift away without knowing it until we’re too far to get back,”

“The ideal timing is when you’re feeling it,”

Thank you specifically to “Maroon,” “Labyrinth,” “This Love,” “Paper Rings,” and “You’re Losing Me” by Taylor Swift; “Your Needs, My Needs” by Noah Kahan; “Work Song” by Hozier; and Georgia Parker’s cover of Taylor Swift’s “Karma.”