The Ex Vows

by Jessica Joyce

His eyes flicker lower, then widen, and I watch, mesmerized, as his Adam’s apple undulates against his throat. “You…are wet.” I look down. “Oh.” My sleep shirt isn’t white, but this is a bad time to discover that if white’s winning the wet T-shirt contest, lavender’s a fierce contender. It doesn’t fully reveal the shade of things, but it certainly details the shape. Eli flushes, swallowing hard again as he looks away, scratching at his stubbled cheek. We used to see each other naked every day, in mundane moments and intensely pleasurable ones. He’s perched on the closed toilet seat to talk to me while I showered; I’ve watched him strip out of his work clothes while I recited a grocery list. He’s had the nipples that are making his ears flush red now in his mouth hundreds of times. He’s touched my breasts, kissed them, given them ridiculous pet names and fucked them. I could draw this man’s dick by memory, have had my hands and body all over it, and yet catching a glimpse of his chest this close makes my face bloom fire-hot. We’re both embarrassed, as if all that knowledge doesn’t sit between us.