The Ex Vows

by Jessica Joyce

“There you are.” A smile melts across his face, slow and sleepy. “Hey, Peach.”

“In thirty seconds, you’re not going to want this, and I can’t pull away, so you’re the one who has to.”

“That job came first at a time when it shouldn’t have, and I paid the price for it.”

“But is it big enough for the three of us?” “What?” He glances down between us. “Nick Miller here.”

“Where are you?” I whisper. His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. Huskily, he says, “With you.” “Are you awake?” His eyes are wild and hot, not because he isn’t here. Because he is. “Do you want me to be?”

“Fuck, the way I’ve wanted you,” he breathes against my mouth. “I don’t know how anyone can look at me and not see it.”

“It’s unreal,” he says quietly, “that I love watching you get dressed as much as I love watching you get naked. I used to sit at the office when I was working late and think about how you were probably putting on your pajamas and I was missing it, and fucking hating myself. I never thought I’d get to watch you do it again.” His exhale brushes over my neck, right below where I’ve fashioned my hair into a loose bun. “Don’t think I’m taking this moment for granted, Georgia, or any moment you’ve given me this week.”

“I came to—” He cuts himself off with a wave of his hand. He’s clutching his phone, along with a Post-it notepad and a pen. “You first.”

He carries post it notes for his ring notes

“When I say I’m still in love with you,” he says quietly, “I mean today and yesterday and this entire week. I mean at Nick and Miriam’s wedding and I mean for the past five years.” If possible, he gets even quieter, but now he’s closer so I get every word. “When I say I’m still in love with you, I mean the first time I saw you and right now. I mean every second in between.”

Love a man that yearns

“Yeah.” He curves a hand against my jaw, his thumb playing over the high plane of my cheek. “I’m actually gonna go now, good luck with everything.”

“I want all of it, too,” he says, his voice low. “Is that why you’re here?” One corner of his mouth lifts. “I told you it was the cupcake.” “You’re putting a lot of pressure on the cupcake.”

“I wrote all of these, so I know. But seeing them like this…” He trails off, shaking his head. “I really have loved you for a long time.”