The Ex Vows

by Jessica Joyce

mine will only ever be Peach. When I eventually ask him why, he’ll tell me it’s because he knew exactly who I was to him from

the start.

think about how utterly heartbreaking it is that we’re using the same connection that allowed us to conduct a wordless conversation across the room to know each other in such a clinical way now. Like strangers who’ve seen each other naked in every way that counts, in all the ways that wreck you.

It’s a gift to know someone when you’re in love with them, and a curse when you’re out of it.

while he was trying to fix what was broken in his past, he was breaking something that was right in front of him.

It gave me the perfect excuse to put my hands all over his slick skin under the guise of roughhousing, so I always said yes.

Each brick was a time he’d fucked up or I had, a time when either one of us could’ve said what was on our mind and said nothing instead. It was endless tiny transgressions that didn’t ruin us in the moment but added to the wall we built.

“When I say I’m still in love with you, I mean the first time I saw you and right now. I mean every second in between.”

Time is cruel and a miracle all in one swoop. It shows you what you had, and sometimes brings it back to you, but it’s always different.

It’s a privilege to have someone trust you enough to show you those pieces of themselves, the most vulnerable and tender, the least polished.