I learned so young that other people’s needs were default, that mine had to be scheduled to be met, or, more easily, taken care of myself. It was reinforced by my dad, who did his best while juggling a demanding career but only dropped the balls with my name on them; by my mom, who walked away because my mere existence was too much to handle; by the friends who didn’t stick like Adam and Jamie and Eli, who were cool until I needed things or felt too much. Eventually Eli did it to me, too, but first he made sure I never had to say what I needed out loud;
