Hans (Alliance, #4)

by S.J. Tilly

by the time I got home, I had a new fucking neighbor. Cassandra. That was last summer. One year, one month, and two weeks ago.

she said I’m Cassie, your new neighbor. And since my brain could come up with nothing better to say, I replied with Hans. Just that. Just my name. And then she repeated it back. Just as simple. Just once. Hans. And I haven’t fucked anyone since.

The curvy little vixen who just turned thirty, twelve days ago—making her nine years my junior and too young for me—and has been doing her best to kill me with food poisoning through her little deliveries.

My stomach protests at the last bite, but I can’t waste it. It doesn’t matter how bad her creations are, my deep-seated need to consume every bit of Cassandra won’t let me throw them away.

Leaning down, I carefully stick the newest Post-it on top of the last one, adding it to my little stack of yellow paper squares. One for every delivery from the girl next door.

On one side of the room, the gray couch faces a subpar TV mounted above a fireplace she never turns on because someone—me—keeps disabling the gas line because someone—her—has left it on unattended one too many times.

Because if Cassandra woke up tomorrow to a bowl of rotten produce, she would feel sad. She’d probably frown. Potentially pout. And I can’t be the cause of that.

The mirror is still slightly steamy—accounting for her wet hair when she left the house—and the mix of shampoo, body lotion, and hair products makes me want to roll around on her shaggy bathroom rug. But I don’t. That would be weird.

All her. All my Cassandra. Spread out like a fucking centerfold. For someone else. My vision tints an ugly shade of green, and I storm out of my house, book in hand.

“Are you obsessed with me?”

But the phone isn’t locked. And I can see the home screen. And the photo saved as the background is… me. Asleep in his bed. I bite down on my lip. He’s totally obsessed with me.

Yeah, Cassandra Lynn Cantrell. I’m obsessed with you.

“I haven’t touched another woman since you moved in across the street. Got it?” His intensity is intoxicating. “Got it,” I whisper.

“I never pretended to be normal.” I slide a look up at him. “You told my parents you were a health inspector.” Hans glances at me. “Health inspectors aren’t normal.” I press my lips together to keep from smiling. “Did you just make a joke?” “I’m deadly serious.”

“I wanted to fucking keep you, Butterfly, from the moment I met you. And on the off chance something like tonight happened, I needed to be prepared. So, yeah, I took a few of your things. But now you have what you need.”

Please don’t ever tell me you can’t. He thought I was going to say I can’t be with him. That I can’t stay. That I can’t do this. I squeeze my eyes shut. The only thing I can’t do is give him up.

For a year, I’ve been dreaming of what it would be like to have his attention. And it turns out I have all of it. Now I can’t settle for anything less.

It’s been twenty years since I’ve loved someone. But I recognize the feeling. It’s like hearing a song for the first time after years and years but remembering every lyric the second it starts. It’s a heavy sort of comfort. But it also terrifies me.

Cassandra was my obsession. My Butterfly to love at a distance. A pretty creature on the other side of the glass. I never wanted her to know me. Never wanted to take the chance of trying.

Because her rejection… It would crush me. I’d known that much. Known that if she was afraid of me, it would smother the ...

From afar, I could pretend. I could dream. I could fantasize and prepare. But never believe any of it could be real. Never think I’d...

I made a point to never get close enough to touch. Cassandra reaches up and brushes her fingers along my jaw. Not once, not ever, did I think she’d reach for me. And now...

“Are you an assassin?” He’s quiet for a beat. “I don’t get paid to kill people. I do it because I want to.”

“My Butterfly.” Hans presses a kiss to the back of my head. “My girl.” He circles his arm around my waist. “My light.” His words seep into my heart. “My Grizzly Bear.” I hug his arm. “My man.” I melt into his body. “My stalker.” I smile. Sleep finally starts to take me, the weight of the day pulling me under, when Hans whispers two more words. “My love.”

“You buying that house was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Those are my Post-it notes. The ones I handwrote for each baked good. The ones I gave to Hans.

All I ever wanted was to have her nearby. Never dreamed… I soak in the feeling of this happiness. I’m going to marry this girl.

“Because I never realized how much I wanted to make a family until I met you,” she whispers. “Because I love you, Hans. And because I’m pretty sure you love me too.” She changes my life. Because I love you.

It’s time to become the ghost assassin my enemies whisper about.