Hans (Alliance, #4)

by S.J. Tilly

“You back home?” Cassandra tenses at Karmine’s question, probably not liking that she knew I was out of town. “Yeah.” I resist the urge to smile. I always dreamed of a world where my Butterfly would let me touch her. It never occurred to me to fantasize about her being possessive of me. And I fucking love it.

“Can we focus?” It’s silent for a beat, then Karmine snickers. “She with you?” I glance over at Cassandra, and she bites her lip, pretending innocence. I sigh. “Yeah, she’s here.”

I was too mad about the whole situation to appreciate how scared I was. I was too angry to even think about what the world would be like if Cassandra Cantrell’s light had been snuffed out. It was so close.

“Call me that again,” I rasp. Her hand moves in a small circle. “Baby?” I nod. “It’s okay, Baby.” Cassandra presses a kiss on my shoulder. “I’m right here. I’m safe.”

I think he might say something, but instead, he grips my face and presses his lips firmly against mine. “I’ll be five seconds.”

“That was you in Mexico, right?” I look up and watch Hans work his jaw for a moment before he sighs. “That was me.” “And you just so happened to be there? In the same city as me. Right behind our bus. Even though you made no mention of going on such a trip when you dropped me off at the airport?” His fingers flex around mine. “Yeah, well, I told you to be careful.”

And then he’s shirtless. And I’m speechless. He’s so perfect. By not being perfect at all. Scars. Muscles. Chest hair I want to nuzzle my face against.

Then I look up and see the crooked smile on Hans’s mouth. “She was looking,” I defend.

It’s been twenty years since I’ve loved someone. But I recognize the feeling. It’s like hearing a song for the first time after years and years but remembering every lyric the second it starts. It’s a heavy sort of comfort. But it also terrifies me.

From afar, I could pretend. I could dream. I could fantasize and prepare. But never believe any of it could be real. Never think I’d ever have her close enough to touch.

I pull her closer and slide my hand up the back of her head until I’m gripping her ponytail. “That’s three.”

She’s perfect.

“You’re all I see, Cassandra.”

I feel a sense of rightness. Like this is where I belong.

“One and a half.” Cassandra lets out a full laugh, and I grin as I shove the last bite of her sandwich into my mouth. It tastes better than I know it should. But that’s because it’s hers. She had her hands on it. Her mouth on it.

A hand grips my ponytail and tips my head back. I expect him to laugh at me or count. But he stares down at me with a serious expression. “You buying that house was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Charred sweet corn cookies,” a male voice says, confused. “Is this supposed to be a code?” Slowly, I turn back to the monitors. Those are my Post-it notes. The ones I handwrote for each baked good. The ones I gave to Hans. And First Man is touching them.

“Do you still trust me?” I have no right asking her this after what she just watched, but I ask it all the same. She nods, her head only moving the smallest bit. “I do.” A flash of her in white fills my mind. Soon, I’ll have her saying I do in another way.

I’ve fought side by side with Karmine’s army. I have no problem letting women do whatever they want. I know they’re more than capable of taking care of themselves. But Cassandra is mine. She’s mine and that makes it different. It makes me want to protect her. To stand between her and everything sharp in this world.

Savannah snorts. “Any time I want to piss King off, I remind him that he’s gonna have two sisters married into the Chicago mafia.”

Honestly, I’m not upset about it. It was probably overkill. But what do I know about corpses and evidence? And I really do have all my important things tucked away in the storage locker in my parents’ complex. Plus, it turns out my neighbor with the sparse house is actually super rich, so he can replace anything I need.

“Dom here. I’m a big fan of your work.” “Aww, thanks.” I can picture her dramatically pressing her hand to her chest. “I’m a big fan of your wife. She’s kickass.” Dom smirks. “I know.”

Dom rubs his hands together. “I love it when armies collide. Now we just need a target.”

And just like that, the tension building inside me lessens. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of my cookies, Hans will always love me. Something warm wraps around my heart. Hans will always love me.

I see Savannah trying not to laugh as she reaches for one of the cookies. Apparently everyone here is so used to absurd behavior we’re just going to brush off the whole knife-throwing thing.

I reach for her face. “You would do that?” My voice is choked. She nods her head jerkily. “I want to.”

“I love you, Hans. My big, perfect Grizzly Bear.”

“You’ll never be lost from me.” I lean over Cassandra and push the needle into her skin. “I’ll always take care of you.”

“I’ll give you as many babies as you want.”

She knows what that means too. That the site of the injection will be visible. “Where?” “Her sleeves cover it.” It’s all I can bring myself to say. Because the words As long as they leave her clothes on won’t form. I can’t say it. I can’t bear imagining.

Before me are the men of The Alliance, men of the Chicago mafia, Karmine’s warriors, and Karmine herself, the only person I’ve called a friend in a long time. I can’t say thank you. Can’t bring myself to speak. So I just nod. And they all nod back.

And that’s when all hell breaks loose. Somewhere below me, gunfire erupts. A lot of gunfire erupts. It’s so much. So loud. I can also hear glass shattering and men screaming, and it’s the best sound I’ve ever heard in my life. Because it means Hans is here.

Karmine’s voice plays through my earpiece, and the world quiets around me. Cassandra is safe.

Hans ran after me with a bullet hole in his leg. I can walk with some broken pottery in my feet.

“You sure you know how to fly this thing?” I shout to Nero. He looks over his shoulder at me from the pilot’s seat. “Pretty sure.” Dom, in the copilot position, tightens his seat belt. “How about we don’t tell the wives this part?” Nero grins. “Pussy.” Dom gives his seat belt another tug. “Get Payton pregnant and then see how reasonable she is.”

“Butterfly.” I lightly drag a finger down the outside of her foot. “You’re hurting.” “Hans, I’m aching.” Her hips shift. And I decide I can multitask.

We talked about it and agreed to tell them everything. Or at least the broad strokes. And if they ask us a question, we won’t lie. Cassandra is certain they won’t try to turn me in to the authorities, and I trust my Butterfly, so I’ll trust them.

“I don’t know why you lived in that sad little house when you could afford this.” She pulls back and smiles at me. “But I’m glad you did.”

“I wasn’t in communications in the army. I wasn’t even in the army.” He pauses, and my nerves spike. “I was with something else.” I swallow. “Three-letter agency?” He doesn’t confirm. “I saw a lot of shit. Most of it had nothing to do with wars, but I saw a lot of dangerous men.” His eyes move back to meet mine. “They’re easy to recognize when you know what to look for.”

Mr. and Mrs. Cantrell have become parents to all of us, and their acceptance is more than I ever could have hoped for. Nero is more than enough, but this… I look around at the people gathered… This is family.

Mr. Cantrell kisses both of Cassandra’s cheeks, then holds his hand out to me. “Take care of her, yeah?” I shake his hand, then turn to the woman I’m about to make my wife. “Until my last breath.”

“Mind if I cut in?” King rumbles from beside me. I turn to my husband and lean into his chest. He wraps his arms around me, and we rock slowly together while the fast-paced music thuds around us.

And I can’t wait any longer. I have to tell him. Tears fill my eyes as I mouth, “I’m pregnant.”

“I think you’d like my wife,” I tell my family. “She’s… She’s my second chance. My new beginning.” I step forward to Freya’s headstone and press the Post-it to the top. This one is in my handwriting. This isn’t goodbye.