The Paradise Problem
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Read between August 18 - August 21, 2025
8%
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“Are you shitting my dick right now?” West squints at me. “I—no?
8%
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“What in the smelling salts waistcoat gentleman shit is that?” “Agreed.” I attempt a British accent: “The lord must find a wife!”
17%
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“I can’t wear that,” she says, voice shaking. “Why not?” “That diamond is like… the size of my nipple.”
30%
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“Oh!” Anna jerks a hand over her eyes. “Your Goddamn! Right there!” She turns away. “Sorry! I just—spaced out—on your—God. And you’re not even harrrrrrr—Fuck me.” She coughs.
43%
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Your last sex was Micah, right? Micah. A waiter at her parents’ café. Very hot. Very unskilled. Yes. Two stars. Would not return.
44%
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I have the intrusive thought that I wouldn’t even need to be dared to lick his chest right now. His nipples are… well, I enjoy them. I would like to touch them. Maybe with my boob again.
46%
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I absolutely do not look down at his shorts; what kind of a trash goblin do you take me for?
62%
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“Imagine we get locked in one of those,” Anna says, “and they find us days later, wearing salami and cheese to stay warm.”
63%
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“I guess now is when I tell you the truth,” I say with quiet solemnity. “You may have noticed that I sparkle in the sunlight. That my skin is like marble.” I pause. “This is the skin of a killer.”
Kelly  Jegorow
I can't with Anna - she's so freaking funny!
83%
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“When we care about someone, they deserve the benefit of the doubt. We have to consider not only what they did, but also why they did it. Intent matters,”
90%
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“Are you saying you love me, Anna Green?” “I’m saying I love you madly, West Weston.”