Finding My Way Outta Darkness : A Story Of Unconditional Love

by Briyanna Michelle

love her but you are in love with her and that’s different. You are good for her, and honestly, the better man for her. She’s my best friend, so I’m always going to want the best for her. The best is you, so don’t fuck it up.” I pulled him into a hug because that was the realest shit I’d ever heard.

I didn’t really remember the last time I had been truly happy in this world; I knew it was when my mom was alive. She was the best thing God could have given me but then He took her away and I never got over it.

You don’t need luck, you have God. He has always been there for you and is waiting for you to include Him in your life.

Sometimes we must create our own family.

Every interaction we had together was special and completely our own. We quickly became attached at the hip. When I fell for her, I fell fast and hard, like those rollercoasters that didn’t give you a chance to catch your breath. It took off and expected you to be ready. My heart did the same that day; it took off and never quite came back from the whirlwind that was her.

prayed that God would work a miracle in her life and restore the years that she had lost. I asked Him to grace her with confidence and courage to be the woman I knew she

was underneath the trauma. I asked Him to prepare me to go back to the place that brought the two of us together in the first place. I needed strength so I wouldn’t fall victim to the memories that cost me two women I loved most in this world.

God’s favor in my life allowed me to find my first love again after so many years, and everyone couldn’t say the same thing.

Once I got myself together and got closer to God, I started to realize the importance of my body. Often, as men, we are taught to be careless with our body and not cherish it, but why is that? To have a shit load of bodies and soul ties trailing behind you? My grandpa told me to make sure when I have sex to be clear on the spiritual ties connected with that. I got a treasure right here, too, mamas. And, to be clear, I’m only sharing that with you.” He placed my hand on his treasure and I gave it a squeeze for good measure.

“We are going to erase every other sexual experience from your mind. I want us to pretend as if you get to reset to being a virgin again. You get to lose it in whatever way you want. You are in control here. You set the pace—deep and slow, or rough and quick. I am here to fulfill every fantasy you have. I am yours, baby girl, so choose me… please.” I laughed through the tears. Who else was this selfless? We both knew in reality, we could never erase everything that had happened to me, but here he was, making a declaration that none of that mattered anymore. Just me, only this moment that I would declare as my first time.