Feeling Good: Overcome Depression and Anxiety with Proven Techniques

by David D. Burns

In spite of the fact that “absolute fairness” does not exist, personal and social moral codes are important and useful. I am not recommending anarchy. I am saying that moral statements and judgments about fairness are stipulations, not objective facts. Social moral systems, such as the Ten Commandments, are essentially sets of rules that groups decide to abide by. One basis for such systems is the enlightened self-interest of each member of the group. If you fail to act in a manner that takes into account the feelings and interests of others you are likely to end up less happy because sooner or later they will retaliate when they notice you are taking advantage of them. A system which defines “fairness” varies in its generality depending on how many people accept it. When a rule of behavior is unique to one person, other people may see it as eccentric. An example of this would be my patient who washes her hands ritualistically over fifty times a day to “set things right” and to avoid extreme feelings of guilt and anxiety. When a rule is nearly universally accepted it becomes part of a general moral code and may become a part of the body of law. The prohibition against murder is an example. Nevertheless, no amount of general acceptance can make such systems “absolute” or “ultimately valid” for everyone under all circumstances.