The first step is to find out if you want independence. All of us have a much greater chance of achieving our goals if we understand what they are. It helped Roberta to realize that her dependency was condemning her to an empty existence. If you are still clinging to the notion that it is desirable to be “dependent,” list the advantages, using the double-column technique. Spell out how you benefit if you let love determine your personal worth. Then in order to assess the situation objectively, write down the counterarguments, or rational responses, in the right-hand column. You may learn that
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