Feeling Good: Overcome Depression and Anxiety with Proven Techniques

by David D. Burns

Before you can feel anger, you must necessarily make the interpretation you are entitled to get what you want in this situation.

an error. When you insist on

In fact, we could define anger as the emotion which corresponds in a one-to-one manner to your belief that you are being treated unfairly.

The whole dispute is based on the illusion of “absolute fairness.”

like no such thing as absolute evil

Do you want people to act fairly? Then you should want him to act as he does even though you dislike what he does, since he is acting fairly within his system! You

Your fantasies help keep the pain alive. Every time you fantasize about the occurrence you shoot new doses of arousal into your system. You become like a cow chewing on poison cud.

and encouraged him. She avoided any criticism, argument,

it was the meaning she attached to the experience that caused her sense of grief and rage.

of eating when you’ve been upset and nervous? YOU: Yeah. Right. I’ve never had any self-control. DAVID: So, wouldn’t it be natural to expect then that last

attitude and feelings are the key. With them you can move mountains—even mountains of flesh. The major thing that holds you back when you’re trying

let me see. How about: I should have been more assertive because I wouldn’t have had to pay more than I owed? DAVID: Okay. Now what’s the rational

response to that? What is illogical about that argument? YOU: Well, since I’m human I won’t always do the right thing. DAVID: Exactly. In fact, the following syllogism may help you. First premise: All human beings make mistakes,

one evening. And there is a payoff. You will avoid feeling guilty, and you can fantasize that you are an especially nice person. Furthermore,

giving in to his demands by saying: “If I asked him for a favor or needed his help, he’d do the same for me. After all, a loving brother and sister should help each other out. And besides,

so she could learn to say no and stick to her guns in a tactful but firm manner. I played Margaret’s role, and she pretended

fine! If that’s how you feel, don’t come to me for any favors! MARGARET:

mind when standing up to her brother’s manipulations. These were: (I) She could remind him it was her right not to say yes

possibility he would temporarily withdraw and thwart her by refusing to talk to her or to consider her point of view. When he did this,

it differed radically from her usual approach, in the following dialogue, I asked Shiba to play the role of Mother while I played her

president of your club. In this case you could probably shake your absurd

like no such thing as absolute evil

college student whose twin brother, Ted, was so seriously depressed he dropped out of school and began to live like a recluse with his parents. Jed felt guilty about his brother’s

to a beach that’s a little more secluded so you wouldn’t have to feel quite so self-conscious? If I were on a beach and you and John were there, his physical disability wouldn’t

the history of psychiatry. Therapists from all schools of thought have been notorious for interpreting

If you take the position you “need” someone else for a sense of worth, you broadcast the following: “Take me! I have no inherent worth! I can’t stand myself!”

by comparing the predicted satisfaction (column four) with the actual satisfaction (column five), you will be able to find out how accurate your predictions are.

Self-esteem can be viewed as your decision to treat yourself like a beloved friend.

in a new era of biological research on depression. Scientists were eager to find out how the MAOIs worked. It was known that the MAOIs prevented the breakdown of serotonin,

fires. Why is it that buspirone is not more effective for depression? Scientists don’t actually know the answer. Remember, though, that there are at least fifteen

Remember, too, that untreated depression also has many “side effects.”

alone without psychotherapy, but I have not found this approach to be satisfactory.

in Table 20–12 on pages 624–625. On the average, valproic acid is usually