The Austere Academy (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #5)

by Lemony Snicket

“We have a magnificent dormitory here at Prufrock Prep,” he said. “You can’t miss it. It’s a gray building, entirely made of stone and shaped like a big toe. Inside is a huge living room with a brick fireplace, a game room, and a large lending library. Every student has his or her own room, with a bowl of fresh fruit placed there every Wednesday. Doesn’t that sound nice?” “Yes, it does,” Klaus admitted. “Keeb!” Sunny shrieked, which meant something along the lines of “I like fruit!” “I’m glad you think so,” Nero said, “although you won’t get to see much of the place. In order to live in the dormitory, you must have a permission slip with the signature of a parent or guardian. Your parents are dead, and Mr. Poe tells me that your guardians have either been killed or have fired you.” “But surely Mr. Poe can sign our permission slip,” Violet said. “He surely can not,” Nero replied. “He is neither your parent nor your guardian. He is a banker who is in charge of your affairs.” “But that’s more or less the same thing,” Klaus protested. “That’s more or less the same thing,” Nero mimicked. “Perhaps after a few semesters at Prufrock Prep, you’ll learn the difference between a parent and a banker. No, I’m afraid you’ll have to live in a small shack, made entirely of tin. Inside there is no living room, no game room, and no lending library whatsoever. You three will each have your own bale of hay to sleep on, but no fruit. It’s a dismal place, but Mr. Poe tells me that you’ve had a ...