Every moment is the moment I know I am not going to be able to hang on. About to slide off over and over. It takes all my willpower to not let go and at some point I decide it doesn’t matter so I do let go. But I was not actually holding on to anything so the feeling does not go away. Then I have the feeling of needing to let go and the feeling of having let go at the same time. This—this—is what it feels like to be undead. And this is what it felt like to be alive.
