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March 24 - March 26, 2024
“Rowan—”
“This is my special take on the traditional version.”
“Rowan—” I hiss, but it’s too late. Rowan’s already scooped a forkful of salad into his mouth, his eyes closing as he savors the chopped lettuce and green beans and cherry tomatoes and … beef.
as the meat is gamey.”
I swipe a hand down my face as Rowan manages to shovel one more bite into his mouth before he passes out face down on his plate.
hold Thorsten’s confused gaze as I push the stem of my wineglass over, toppling it onto my plate. The crystal shatters, chipping the china, flooding the salad with blood-colored wine. “Well,” I say, as I sit back in my chair, laying my hand on the surface of the table with the watered steel blade clutched in my palm. “I guess it’s just you and me now.”
HOT GIRL SHIT
Sloane hums along with the music that swirls around me.
“I’d say it would hurt less if you stop struggling, but that’s a total lie.”
“Just a little snip. There you go.” The screaming stops abruptly and Sloane’s shoulders sag with disappointment. “Wuss.”
“In the bowl, Rowan. Jesus Christ.”
“He’s eating. In the kitchen,” she says. I shake my head, not following what she’s laying down. “The next courses. The … food.” “That’s what most people eat. Food.” The color has drained from Sloane’s face. “Yeah … most …” “I don’t get it—” “You ate a fucking person,” she blurts out. I blink at Sloane once before pulling the bowl back to heave again.
“Did you know it was a rump roast? I tortured Thorsten until he told me. I had to dig human ass out of your mouth.”
This fucking girl.
need to get it through my fucking thick skull. She will never want more than this. But I refuse to lose her. Sloane is the only person in the world who can look at my monster and find a friend. And I know she needs a friend just as much as I do. Maybe more.
“I’d rather watch you make skin ornaments and eye baubles than go to the kitchen and check on Lobotomy David. Let’s just go with that.”
“To be fair, you did gouge out—” “Pluck, Rowan. I plucked his eyes out.”
But this, Blackbird? This is art.”
I meeannnn…its also mirder but thats neither here nor there
I’m disappointed this year’s game is nearly over, because I hate watching her walk away. What we have now? It’s not enough. I want more.
“Did David beg you to stop when you decided to play Lobotomy Barbie with his face? I bet he pleaded with you, and you loved the sound. But the funny thing is, Mr. Carmichael, you and I have something in common. I’ll tell you a little secret,” she says. A devastatingly beautiful smile creeps across her lips as she leans close to his ear. “I love the sound when my victims beg too.” “No, no, you don’t understand … David! David, help me!”
And since mine were never around, they didn’t notice the price I truly paid.”
For all the times I’ve thought my soul was little more than a fucking stone, Sloane Sutherland proves me wrong.
My heart hits every bone on its way down to the floor. All that’s left behind is a black space that burns hotter with every hollow beat.
“The price I could never pay was Lark.” Ice infuses my veins. A chill spreads through my arms. It sluices down my spine. “She was the only person I cared about. When I found out what he was doing to her, what she had been hiding, I did some hiding of my own. That same night that she confessed someone else’s sins to me, I waited in the shadows. I made a vow in the dark. That I would wipe out everyone like him that I could find. That I wouldn’t stop until I found the worst, the darkest, the most depraved, and I would erase them from the world, one at a time. And I promised myself that I would
...more
She is a fucking virtuoso, surrounded by her masterpiece. She waits for a single word from the man beneath her, holding out for the perfect note. “Please—” Sloane plunges the blade into Thorsten’s stomach.
HOT GIRL SHIT
And Sloane the goddess of chaos at the heart of it all.
“You’re okay. Lark is okay,” I whisper as I slide one arm across her back. When Sloane doesn’t react, I fold my other arm around her too, until she’s caged in my embrace. “You did good.”
“It’s really bad, Rowan,” she says into my shirt, her voice muffled. “When I went into the kitchen to get the bowl, he had half a sausage link hanging from his mouth.” “That doesn’t sound so bad—” “It was raw.” “Okay, yep. That’s pretty bad.”
he spoons what seems to be cookies-and-cream ice cream into his mouth straight from the tub.
Im scared
“I might never look at ice cream the same way again.” “I don’t want to know.” “Ingredients: cream—” “Sloane—”
“Sugar—”
“I’m begging you,” I say, but as soon as beg leaves my lips, Sloane’s grin ignites. My stomach flips in the most uncomfortable way. Sloane clears her throat. “‘Semen, milked April tenth to April thirteenth.’ That’s an interesting substitute to salt—”
Jfc
“Give him a job.”
Awww theyre gonna keep him
“If he hasn’t been reported missing by anyone, you could just … take him.”
“This is an epically bad idea, Blackbird.”
“Can you help me with the dishes, David? You just put them in the rack and then open it like this.” She demonstrates how to open and close the freestanding machine before guiding him to fill the rack, which he does a little more quickly than I expected.
“Please? Super please. Big extra pleases with cherries on top,”
In one hop, she kisses me on the cheek.
It’s Sloane’s voice that breaks the night. “I think we’re officially best friends now,” she says. “Oh yeah? Do you want to go do karate in the garage?”
I know the hardest part is coming, just like it did last year, just like it did in the restaurant.
I don’t just hate this part. I fucking loathe it.
She’s always carrying around gold star stickers, mostly for the children she works with as a music therapist when she’s not on the road performing, but she’s not afraid to whip them out for adults too.
Protect lark at all costs
That math ain’t mathin.’ ”
What if I’ve got this all wrong? What if everything I feel is all in my head? What if he’s been avoiding me? What if I’m unlovable? What if something unfixable is wrong with me? What if I try for something more with Rowan and I fuck it up? What if he never wants to see me again? I could just leave now. What if I do? What if what if what if— “Sloane. Get out of your head and talk to me.”
“I don’t know if what I have to offer compares to all that, you know?”
“It’s written all over your face. But you are not unlovable, Sloane. Because I love you. And he might too, if you give him the chance. He did say that sweet stuff about you to the cannibal guy, right?”
“Maybe so, but he did ask you to come all that way to see him, didn’t he?”
“You’re the only person I can have real fun with,” he’d said when he FaceTimed with the request.
The kiss I blow to Lark is caught, and she pretends to press it to her cheek before sending one back to me.
I’ll be the pretty boy in a black suit
He’s so beautiful it steals the breath from my lungs.
