Darkest Sins (Perfectly Imperfect, #9)

by Neva Altaj

“Get the fuck out of here, cub,” he rasps and leans his head back on the wall again, closing his eyes. “Stupid girl.” I slide my gun from behind my back and press the barrel to his chest, just over his heart. “Stupid, but armed.” Those magnificent eyes snap open. He holds my gaze as he wraps his fingers around the barrel and shifts the gun, butting it up against the bridge of his nose. “Do me a favor. Don’t miss.” His voice is flat, lackadaisical, as if his life means nothing.

The wise thing to do would be to get back into my car and leave the hottie with a death wish to die of blood loss, but I can’t do it. And we’ve already established that I’m an idiot.

“No ‘thank you for saving my life’?” I mumble. My mysterious stranger stops, but he doesn’t turn to look at me. “You’re alive, aren’t you?” “Yes. So?” “That’s the biggest ‘thank you’ anyone ever got from me, cub.”

If I let myself be taken out, I wouldn’t be able to make sure the girl is okay. I need to make sure she’s safe, and that need is stronger than the wish to finally end my existence.

I told her I never thanked anyone in my life. It’s not only because I never actually had something to be thankful for, but because “thanks” is just a word. One syllable without a true meaning. Like love. Or care. Empty words people use but don’t mean. Like forgiveness. But I want to give her something. More than a kiss on her hand. I’ve actually never kissed anyone or anything before. I don’t have much to offer, so that night, I gave her what I had. A kiss for the hand that treated my wound with such care. But, I can also give her safety.

The other two, however, are men with histories of assault and battery, and one of them was convicted of attempted rape. I check both of their addresses through the nav app, then take my gun and get out of the car. The whole idea of second chances is one big illusion. People very rarely change, if ever. And I will not allow a potential threat to live anywhere near my tiger cub.

How could I watch over my girl if I’m dead? The night she tied her scarf around my thigh and then offered me her hand, my life became hers.

There’s a saying about “hands dipped in blood up to the elbows” that describes men like me. However, in my case, I earned that depiction long before I was considered an adult in the eyes of the law. Now? Now, I’m so submerged in blood and death that the stink of it is permanently lodged in my nostrils. I won’t dare set my dirty hands on something so pure and innocent as her, even if it’s just to feel her hair. For me, she’s like a treasured painting in a museum, open to view, but marked with a brass sign warning “Do Not Touch.”

It takes only twenty-two sutures to close the cut. They’re uneven and messy, but I don’t mind. The whole ordeal lasted barely ten minutes. I should have made a longer cut.

What the fuck am I doing? The plan was just to check up on her and head back the moment I knew everything was all right. It didn’t include slicing my forearm open just so I could talk to her again. Or contemplating doing it again tomorrow. And the day after that.

Tonight, in that alley, my girl had talked with me as if I wasn’t a monstrous freak, hiding in the shadows. It was strange. The good kind of strange. For a short while, I actually felt like a person. Something I haven’t felt for a long, long time. And then, she let her guard down, falling asleep in my car. With me beside her. Trusting that I wouldn’t do anything to harm her while she was in her most vulnerable state was beyond reckless. It shook me to the core.

If Kruger could see me now, crouching in the middle of vegetable bushes, he would think I’d finally completely lost my shit. When asked to determine the caliber of a weapon based on the sound alone, I can answer correctly nine times out of ten. But this? I don’t know shit about this. I keep sniffing at the crap, but everything just smells like wet dirt. “Fuck it.” I straighten and, fisting a bunch of plants in my grip, head back to my car.

“With all the experience you’re providing me, I should consider changing my major to nursing.” A barely there smirk forms on his face. “I’m happy to be of use.” “Was it another homeless man?” “Yes, the same guy as before.” “I didn’t know there were transient people hanging out around here.” “Well, you never know what’s hiding in the dark corners.”

“What does that mean, ‘in a way’?” “It means nothing is black and white, cub. There are just shades of gray.” He looks up and our gazes lock. “Except you.” It’s becoming impossible to keep my breathing under control while he looks at me like this. As if I’m the only person in the world. “And what am I?” “You, my tiger cub, are a ray of light in the absolute darkness my life has become and has been for a very long time.”

“You’re leaving?” I ask. “For the light to shine, darkness must retreat. It’s what’s meant to be.”

“Should I give you my number? In case something comes up and you can’t make it?” He looks at me over his shoulder, and it seems as if his eyes are piercing through mine. “Even if all hell breaks loose, I’ll be there, tiger cub.”

She starts pulling her other hand from mine. Not happening. I squeeze it, keeping my fingers tightly wrapped around hers. “Um. I need that hand,” she mumbles, looking down at our hands. “No, you don’t.” Her perfect eyebrows rise in question. “Because?” “Because you have two,” I growl. This hand is mine. She offered it to me freely, and I’m not releasing it unless it’s absolutely necessary.

“So, you like it?” “It’s awful, cub.” I laugh. “Well, you could have lied and said you like it.” His breath tingles the skin on my neck as he dips his head, bringing his mouth to the level of my ear. “I don’t want lies between us, tiger cub.” His hushed, raspy voice floods my senses, making my whole body buzz with an electric charge because of his deep resonance alone. “Just secrets.”

The world dissolves, and both my body and mind attune solely to the man standing behind me, his chest plastered to my back. I close my eyes and tilt my head to the side until my cheek touches his.

“Who was the guy you were talking to?” Jaya throws in. “No one,” I whisper. “Just the darkness.”

I want to lay myself at her mercy, beg her to take me despite the wreck of a human being that I am. Maybe she would, but it wouldn’t be right. Because I need all of her, but in order to get it, I’d have to offer all of me in exchange. Every sin. Every dark deed. A fair trade.

I gape at him. If he’s carrying me, he won’t be able to return fire. And his back will be exposed to the shooters. Fuck no! Feeling his heat beneath my touch, I slide my hand between our bodies and pull a gun from his holster. “Heads up, demon. I’m a lousy shot unless my target is up close.” I cross my ankles at the small of his back, locking myself in. Then, I wrap my left arm around his neck and extend the right over his shoulder, gun at the ready. My demon smiles. “Give them hell, tiger cub.”

“Please, fuck me.” “Fuck you? No, I don’t like that term.” He grabs me behind my knees, pulling me closer. “I’m going to take you, Nera.” “What’s the difference?” I pant while the tip of his cock teases my entrance. “What I take, I keep forever,”

Cub. My tiger cub. Yes, that’s her name.

“Blood lost for you is blood well spent,”

“Every breath,” he continues. “Every heartbeat. Every drop of my blood is yours. It has all been yours from the moment we met all those years ago. If you want it, I’ll carve my fucking heart out and lay it at your feet. It’s yours, and always will be.”

The urge to turn around and run away is overwhelming. My pause must be a heartbeat too long, and Kai’s hold on my waist tightens. “Just give the word,” he says. “And I’ll kill everyone inside.”

I halt immediately, bumping into his back. “What’s wrong?” “I’m not sure, but I have a bad feeling.” He takes out his gun. “Clown A. Go get my car.” “Please don’t call my security ‘clowns,’” I grumble as he hands his car key to the man in question. “Take off your coat and give it to Clown B.

06:34 Kai: I need you to do something for me. A minute later, an audio file arrives. So he didn’t forget my little problem with reading. 06:35 Felix: I’M SLEEPING!! 06:36 Kai: It’s urgent. 06:36 Felix: Are you starved, dehydrated, and dying in some dump again? Because if you’re not, it can FUCKING WAIT. 06:38 Kai: No. I need a priest. I want to get married. A few minutes pass without a reply, and then: 06:40 Felix: Send me your location and stay put. Is it the Mexicans again? I’ll have Sergei come get you out. When was the last time they drugged you? 06:41 Kai: I’m not high. Find me a priest and have him delivered by the end of the day, or I’m going to gut you real slow the next time I see you.

“I’ll love you till the last drop of blood courses through my veins, tygrysek,” I whisper.

“Silence,” he snaps, then pulls a man from the cargo space. The guy’s hands are tied in front of him and there’s a gag in his mouth. He wriggles in Az’s hold while he’s dragged and then deposited a few feet before Kai. “That’s my contribution.” “I have two!” The blond man grins and opens the back door of his SUV. “And mine are even dressed for the occasion.” He pulls out a man in a long black robe, tied and gagged as well, and then another fellow in similar circumstances, but this one is garbed in a white vestment adorned with intricate gold details. “You weren’t specific in your request.” The happy blond beams like a kid at Christmas as he pulls both men toward us. “So I got you one Orthodox and one Catholic. Az’s is Protestant. Now you have one of each. Take your pick.” “Jesus fuck.” Kai sighs next to me and squeezes the bridge of his nose. “That’s not a priest, Belov.” “What?” “This one”—Kai gestures at the first guy pulled out of the SUV—“in the black gown . . . He’s a fucking JUDGE!” “Oh? So he can’t perform a wedding? Shit. I’ll off him and get you a new one.”

“You are my reason for living, cub. And, in this life, I don’t need a signature or a ceremony to confirm that you’re mine. You are. And I’m yours, every cell of my body. Till my dying breath. And even when I perish, in whatever afterlife awaits.”

“I-I have never performed a marriage ceremony before,” he stutters, tugging on the collar of his dress shirt underneath. “Then, you better be amazing at improvising,” I say and pull my girl closer to my side. “Which one would you prefer to go first, baby? Orthodox, Protestant, or the judge.” “Um . . . I don’t have a preference.” Nera rises to her toes and whispers in my ear. “Maybe you should untie them first. They seem a little freaked out.”

I slip the smaller of the two bands on her finger, and watch—breathless—as she slides the other one on mine. Then, I grab my wife around her waist and crash my mouth to hers. “Amen,” the three voices say in unison. Boisterous clapping fills the room, but it’s suddenly cut off by the sound of something big hitting the floor. “Fuck, Mazur,” Sergei exclaims. “Your priest number three just fainted!”

“See?” he says and taps the guy on the backside. “I’ve got your marriage officiant ready. “Why is he tied-up?” Kai asks through his teeth. “I told you I want a real wedding, you idiot.” “Oh, don’t you worry. I’ve made sure your socially awkward ass will actually get married by the book this time. Justice of the peace, the witnesses, the guests—I’ve got you covered.” “What guests?” Kai snaps. “I didn’t invite anyone.” “I know. But as I said, I’ve got you covered on that account, as well.” Belov grins and places two fingers between his lips, making a loud whistle. In the distance, a rumble of a vehicle comes to life, and, a minute later, a big blue bus slowly rounds the curve and stops behind Sergei’s truck. At least thirty visibly alarmed people in elegant clothes are sitting inside. “Your guests.” Kai’s pal theatrically bows, motioning with his hand toward the bus. “Baby?” I nudge Kai with my elbow. “Is that what I think it is?” “Yes. That maniac hijacked someone’s entire wedding for us.”