A Touch of Gold and Madness (Celestials of Arcadia #1)

by K.L. DeVore

“That was my anger you felt, ...

“What do you mean? How are you able to do that?” Once again, I wrapped my...

“It wasn’t intentional. I didn’t realize you’d be ...

“Okay, you’re going to have to give me mo...

“Since the day we first met, when our magic collided, I’ve been able to feel your emotions. I didn’t know if you could feel mine, too. But when we met again, all I felt from you was pain, anger, and revenge…and I knew that wasn’t the case. You didn’t even remember me, or so I thought. “I thought this emotional tie to you was one-sided. That it was a specific gift of my own that came with being a hybrid. A gift I didn’t want. It made little sense because I couldn’t feel others’ emotions around me. Just yours. Only from a close distance, though.”

“I’ve felt your pain and your anger. Your fear. Your determination. Your shame. Your love. Your...everything over the years. I’ve felt what that motherfucker has made you feel. And it just added to my anger for what he’s done to me. “And now that you’ve accessed and formed a bond with your Elemental side, it seems to have awakened your ability to feel mine. It never occurred to me you couldn’t feel mine because half of your being had been subdued for so long. And I didn’t think to prepare for that today.”

“you have felt my every emotion this entire time?

And you never once thought you should fucking tell me?”

“You’re no different from my father, you prick,”

“Sometimes, that’s all we need. Just one kind person to show us things differently. To perhaps give a perspective shift, even if it’s a small one.”

couldn’t confess that I needed to distance myself from Gray. It would only solidify the fact that I was a coward for running again.

Just thinking about how stunning she looked in her full form stole my breath. Her marbled hair, golden Elemental skin, and shocking rainbow eyes that appeared after bonding with her element, rocked me in a way I hadn’t been expecting. She was every bit the fierce warrior I knew her to be. I resisted the intense desire to drop to my knees and worship her right there.

I couldn’t seek her out now, and I didn’t want anyone at the lodge to witness me like this. I needed a release.

Some things could never fully heal; you just learned to live with the pain, but you also figured out how to move forward in your life without allowing that pain to dictate your path or choices.

I needed Gray. But I didn’t want to need her. She hated me anyway. I disgusted her, and rightfully so.

“I hope our little chat can wait. I’ve got a fuck ton of pent-up anxiety I need to release. You in?”

He pulled out a black cotton cloth from his pocket—a handkerchief. “If you wanted to get kinky and level the playing field, Void, all you had to do was ask.”

Void dropped his arms, and the handkerchief fluttered at his side. He deadpanned his features even more. “Could you not?” I chuckled. “Whatever. Lay it on me, big guy.”

“Okay, I can’t see. Let’s get down and…”

“Okay,” I wheezed. “I see you like it rough. I can adjust.”

“Actually, I don’t. You just bring out the best in me,” I said, wiggling my shoulders.

“You may take my blades, but you will not take my pride, woman!”

“Your mom cooks this food of the gods? No wonder you’re fucking built like that.”

Onyx dipped his head. “You’re a badass and our future queen. I gotta get on your good side from the start, ya know?”

“An ass-kisser I may be, but at least you know I’ll have your back.” Without warning, Onyx

“I’m your new bestie. Get used to it,” Onyx whispered into the top of my hair. “Come on, G. Just relax. I’m not gonna take you hostage.”

“If you’re hot, you can just take off the hoodie.”

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Fuck...

“Oh, don’t get all feisty with me now, Princess. I only came by to return your necklace.”

“Careful. It sounds like you give a shit.”

“That’s why you brought me here: to become their leader. You don’t expect to be around after all is said and done.”

“Well, look who thinks she has it all figured out. You know nothing of the gravity of this situation.”

“Well, how about you do me a solid and fucking tell me?”

“I need your help.” I frowned. The longer I remained there, the more my gut twisted. “What can I do?”

“Just…be…be near me. It helps.”

“Touch,” he said through gritted teeth. “I need it.”

“I…I’ll try.” That tone, so hopeless, twisted my heart.

“Don’t. Don’t do that to yourself. You’re struggling with…something, but look at what you’ve done. At what you’re doing. You’re far from that.”

“You don’t understand,” he said. “I wish I could tell you, but…it could…ruin everything.”

“Then, tell me. You said I could help, right?”

“Look, I trusted you enough to not lock me up, torture, and kill me when you brought me here. Everything inside me screamed I was walking into a trap, that I was a fucking idiot for entertaining the thought you weren’t the heartless killer I believed you were.”

He wrapped his long fingers around the tops of my hands to stop me, shifting them to rest between us without letting go.

“You know how I was conceived. Amethyst…she’s twisted on a level few are aware of. Not even you,”

“She and your father knew how powerful I’d become. They had bred me, after all. But they needed to control me. I needed to be broken…from a young age.”

No, I was the abomination, but one they’d use to their advantage.

Orion and I believe it’s because the abuse fueled it, but also, there was something about you and me that sparked it into manifestation,”

Now, he was only a touch of gold and madness, instead of a full blown assault.

“They needed me to know they were my masters, no matter how powerful I was. They needed me broken—spiritually and mentally.

“The worst happened when I was sixteen. Weeks went by, and I hadn’t replenished either form. My Elemental form was going insane. It was such a hell that I couldn’t think straight. I needed to feed from an aura. It didn’t matter whose it was or how much I’d take. I didn’t care whether I depleted them, even knowing the risk. Add to that, I was starved from my Kinetic energy, too. It was the worst form of torture anyone could imagine.