Can I Tell You Something? (Snowbound Secrets, #1)

by Holly June Smith

A lifetime of Christmases in the happiest place in the world will soon become a distant memory. No more competing for top speed, no stuffing ourselves with fondue, and no sledging home from dinner in the dark. It’s the end of an era, another thing outside of my control.

Ouch

A girl could do well for herself in a place like this. A girl with confidence and charisma, that is. I’m cursed to flush beetroot red and look down at my feet until he passes me by.

My dating life is abysmal, and that’s nobody’s fault but my own. I’ve dabbled with apps, and agreed to being set up a few times, but no man can scratch my particular itch.

The truth is, I have deep-rooted trust issues. That and I’m already in all-consuming love with a man who lives on the other side of the world, has no idea I exist, and makes me come multiple times a night. And if I want him, as I often do, all I have to do is push in my earbuds, and there he is, ready to whisper the most delicious filth straight into...

In my search for sexual stimulation a little less aggressive than mainstream pornography, I found audio porn on Reddit a couple of years ago. Entire libraries of creators work featuring every fantasy you could ever think...

There are sexy stories, creator confessions, guided masturbation tutorials, and even comfort audios to soothe you into a blissful sleep. I can’t tell you exactly what drew me to Mac, except that after two minutes of listening to his voice, I...

I’ve been shamefully addicted ever since. Not that seeking sexual gratification is anything to be ashamed of, but it’s not the sort of thing you bring up at parties. Though at this point, I’d rather spend my evenings at home listening to men moaning than pretending to be confident enough for parties.

Me

“What’s your sister like? Is she hot?” Obviously, I’ve been wondering if I’m about to be shacked up with a forbidden cutie for two weeks. It’s got romance novel written all over it, and I know for a fact my listeners would go nuts for a story like that.

The great thing about audio porn is that it can be enjoyed by anyone, anywhere, at any time. It’s inclusive, non-judgemental, there’s truly something for everyone.

This is the life. My happy place. Stretched out on the chaise longue in front of floor to ceiling windows, my body wrapped in cosy plaid pyjamas and fluffy socks, underneath an old quilt my Grandma made before I was born.

I’d been so shocked, so focused on Ryan, that I had paid no attention to the other man standing behind him. The tall man with a mop of dark waves, a strong jaw, and a little scar in his eyebrow I know is from that one summer in high-school where he wore a piercing. No. It can’t be.

Cameron? It can’t be, but it is. I’d know that face anywhere. The furrow in his brow. The wide, natural smile that’s 80% boyish charm, and 20% ‘I’m going to ruin you.’ The full lips I’ve imagined kissing me a thousand times.

This can’t be happening. It can’t be possible that my brother is home for Christmas, and of all the people he’d bring with him, he’s brought the man I’ve spent over a year fantasising about. Audio erotica voice actor Mac’n’Please is in my house. Maybe he has a twin. A doppelgänger. Maybe I’m hallucinating. It’s the wine and cheese.

Don’t judge me. After a long day at work there’s nothing better than a self administered O and falling asleep basking in the afterglow with a man who’ll never leave you, hurt you, or do you wrong.

Why would you bother with a real man when you could have an audio one talk you through pretty much any fantasy scenario you can think of?

Want to get frisky with your co-worker in the copy room? He has an audio for that. Always fancied a friends-to-lovers hook-up on a pile of coats at a party? He has an audio for that too. Got a fantasy about one last hate-fuck with your toxic ex? Well no, not pe...

I’m not deluded, except I am a little bit deluded because I want him so much. Not just for his words, but his brain, too. The way he laughs, his little jokes. He’s a smart guy, curious about the world and people, with a joie de vivre I am personally lacking.

I’ve spent countless hours zoning out and daydreaming about him. I listen to his Spotify playlists, for fuck’s sake. I wonder what it would be like to go to a party that he also attends. Would we make eyes at each other across the room? Find ourselves on adjacent seats in a quiet spot in a garden?

Never in a million years did I imagine I’d actually meet the man. Mere hours ago I was listening to the sound of him moaning in my ear as he played the part of a hot DILF next door who’d popped round to fi...

“So, Hannah,” Cameron says, leaning closer. “What time do you want me?”

His smile is beautiful and deadly. I’m going to die on this trip. I won’t survive looking at his gorgeous face every day, hearing that caramel voice, laughing across the table.

I don’t know what switch flipped, what threw the earth off its axis, what I’ve done to deserve this karma. All I know is that I’m teaching the man who’s made me come more times than I can count to ski in the morning, and he has no idea who I am.

Ryan seriously downplayed his sister. I mean sure, it would have been weird as fuck if he said ‘Yeah she’s gorgeous, knock yourself out’, but he could have warned me. Gorgeous doesn’t even begin to describe her. She’s breathtaking.

The vision of her when we first arrived is seared into my brain. Messy bun, a pink crease in her cheek from where she’d been sleeping, her top slipped off her shoulder just enough to expose her collarbone. Light brown eyes with long lashes, and her huge, bright smile that, unfortunately for me, was meant for her brother. She didn’t even notice me until their dad said hi.

At dinner, she barely spoke and refused to look my way, no matter how hard I tried to catch her eye. She’s probably pissed off that I’ve gatecrashed her family holiday and now she has to spend it with a stranger instead of relaxing.

Sir…

It’s gonna be a long two weeks. Yesterday I was sitting in a bar, now I’m in a cosy little cabin in the mountains where I’m supposed to try to sleep in the room next to a beautiful woman while my brain is running wild with thoughts of her naked under my red checked blanket. Or was that two days ago? Is this jetlag-induced hallucinations? It’s been a while since I hooked up with anyone. Maybe this is my brain playing tricks on me. She’s just a woman, one who doesn’t even seem to like me. I can certainly keep my dick in check.

I scroll through his followers list, and there she is. Hannah Richmond, with a public profile. Jackpot. If I was feeling a little more bold, I’d hit follow. Except… that button doesn’t say ‘follow’. It says ‘follow back’.

Oope

My best friend may not follow my audio erotica voice acting account, but his sister does.

This is the least relaxed I have ever felt in my life. Normally if I can’t sleep, I stick my earbuds in and let Mac tell me exactly how to get myself off until I wear myself out, but how can I do that when he’s right on the other side of the wall?

I came here hoping for two weeks of eating, drinking, skiing, and sleeping. Now my heart is pounding so hard I’m sure he’ll hear it through the wood. I’ll certainly never be able to sleep.

I’ve listened to this man come so many times it’s rewired my brain. He could talk to me about sinkholes and drainage systems and I’d probably get turned on. He just has to breathe and I’m a mess. How did I miss this?

I know he lives in L.A., and so does my brother, but L.A. is massive. Assuming everyone knows everyone is like assuming every Scottish person is related, or that I can recite every law off by heart.

The man is already an addiction I couldn’t quit, even if I wanted to. I’m practically a stalker, checking his accounts morning and night for new content, listening to audios the second something new drops, sending him my… Oh God. Oh, fuck, no.

She’s not pissed at me, she’s in shock. She would never in a million years have imagined I’d turn up here at her house. I now know three things. Hannah knows exactly who I am. She’s got a dirty, dirty mouth. And my one rule is about to be pushed to the limit.

Cameron knows I know who he is. Not only that, he knows I’ve listened to his audios, and that I’ve gotten off to them. And he knows because I was dumb enough to message him directly and tell him. I want to slap past Hannah around the head. What kind of lawyer leaves a paper trail like that?

How can I happily tuck into my muesli when the man who makes me come with just his words is sitting across the table from me, and knows I know who he is.

Telling him I’m not dating right now because nobody can top his best friend is clearly not an option.

In my dreams he’d start at breakfast, with oral on the kitchen counter, then stop right before I came and tell me it’s time to go shop for groceries. In the car he’d tell me to touch myself on the drive but ‘don’t you dare come. If you come, I’ll fuck you where everyone can see who your orgasms belong to.’

“What do you like to fill your ears with when you’re alone at night, Hannah?”

This woman is a closed book. A brick wall. An iron fortress.

Me

All I want is for her to admit that she knows who I am. Then maybe she wouldn’t be so awkward around me. She’s been shy around me all morning, and I’m not trying to make it awkward.

We should be able to laugh about it, acknowledge that it’s a wild coincidence. If she wasn’t so nervous around me, I bet we could probably have some fun together. She’s so gorgeous, and since I know she’s into a lot of the same stuff as me, it’s pre...

Her face breaks into a smile as she shakes her head slowly, her quiet laugh a beautiful sound that only reaches my ears.

I can’t help but smile when she tugs her glove off with her teeth, unzips her jacket pocket, and pulls out her phone. Only when she opens up Instagram does she finally realise what she’s just said. Her cheeks redden and her lips part as she stares, wide-eyed, at the floor. She knows she’s fucked up, and accidentally given away the fact that she has a way to contact me.

She reaches for her phone and her fingertips graze the underside of mine, sending a spark of… something through the back of my hand. She gasps, her eyes locking with mine, and I know she felt it too.

My hand finds itself on her elbow, cupping it, pulling her gently towards me. Her palm lands on my waist, fingers curling around me, and suddenly we’re the only two people on the mountain.

I want to pull her even closer, lift her chin, and drop my mouth to hers. I want to know what she tastes like, what her hair smells like, whether she would make a no...

For a woman who has tried to keep me at arm’s length all morning, I half wonder if she wants me to ask her to come back with me. But I need her out of my hair if my plan is going to work.

“Enjoy your work,” she says, waving me off. Oh, she has no idea how much I’ll enjoy this. It’s very important work, indeed. The work of getting her to confess how much she wants me.

It’s kind of funny that he assumes I’d care about spotting Timothée, when in reality I’d be a puddle at the sight of Cameron, much like I was when he turned up in my bloody house without warning yesterday.