Can I Tell You Something? (Snowbound Secrets, #1)

by Holly June Smith

I scramble to delete everything,—how the fuck do you delete DMs?—then I watch in horror as a four letter word appears at the bottom of my screen. Seen.

She’s not pissed at me, she’s in shock. She would never in a million years have imagined I’d turn up here at her house. I now know three things. Hannah knows exactly who I am. She’s got a dirty, dirty mouth. And my one rule is about to be pushed to the limit.

“Morning Hannah,” Cameron says, appearing at my side. My eyes snap upwards and lock with his. So beautiful. Grey green with flecks of gold. I’ve never seen eyes like them. He dips his head and lowers his voice. “Can I tell you something?” My response to those five words is Pavlovian and full-bodied. I pinch my lips together just in time to catch a small squeak and turn to check nobody heard him. Those are the words he uses in his confessions series, the audios where it’s just him spilling his darkest, dirtiest desires. “Mhmm.”

close. In my dreams he’d start at breakfast, with oral on the kitchen counter, then stop right before I came and tell me it’s time to go shop for groceries. In the car he’d tell me to touch myself on the drive but ‘don’t you dare come. If you come, I’ll fuck you where everyone can see who your orgasms belong to.’

‘You won’t need these,’ he’d whisper, and I’d almost come on the spot. He’d tease me all night.

I kneel in front of him, tug up his ski pants, and flip open the clips on his boots. “That should help.” It’s only then I realise where I’ve put my hand to balance myself, and the words are out before I can stop myself. “Woah, your thighs are solid.” Cameron looks back and forth between my face and my hand, somehow still dangerously high on his thigh, and now squeezing? I’ve lost my mind.

“Tell me about you then.” He shifts, angling his body towards me, and the forearm of dreams is out of reach. “What do you want to know?” This is a dangerous question. He already knows far more than I would ever care to admit. I don’t know why I’ve given him an opening to press for more details. “Everything.” Oh fuck.

“Wait.” Cameron grabs my wrist and pulls me back towards him. “One last question. I’m dying to know.” Hours pass as I wait for him to stop staring at my mouth and ask what he is apparently so desperate to find out about me. “What do you like to listen to?” No, no, no. Please don’t be this bold. We were doing so well. Can’t we just pretend we’re having a nice day on the mountain and there isn’t this big unspoken secret between us? “Well?” “I… er…” “Come on.” His other hand comes up to wrap around my forearm and tightens ever so slightly, his fingertips pressing into me. I feel the heat even through the layers of my jacket. “What do you like to fill your ears with when you’re alone at night, Hannah?” His voice is rich, so laced with seduction that I’d sway backwards if he weren’t keeping me upright. His eyes are on my mouth again, and my lips are about to form the word ‘you’, when I catch myself and pull out of his grip. “Let’s go.”

Leading questions clearly aren’t working, so I’m going to have to take a different approach. I think I might know just the way to get through to her, but I’ll need a bit of time to myself to execute it.

“I think I’ll skip out for the afternoon. I have some work to catch up on, and I don’t want to overdo it on the first day.” I don’t miss the way her face flushes. I’m sure she’s wondering what exactly that work will entail.

Do I need your keys for the house?” “No, there’s a keypad on the door. I’ll message you the code so you don’t have to memorise it.” I can’t help but smile when she tugs her glove off with her teeth, unzips her jacket pocket, and pulls out her phone. Only when she opens up Instagram does she finally realise what she’s just said. Her cheeks redden and her lips part as she stares, wide-eyed, at the floor. She knows she’s fucked up, and accidentally given away the fact that she has a way to contact me. “You don’t have my number,” I say eventually. I’ll let her slip-up slide. This time. “Give me your phone.” I’m tempted to save my number under Mac just to really get under her skin, but the poor woman might spontaneously combust or burst into tears.

She reaches for her phone and her fingertips graze the underside of mine, sending a spark of… something through the back of my hand. She gasps, her eyes locking with mine, and I know she felt it too. My hand finds itself on her elbow, cupping it, pulling her gently towards me. Her palm lands on my waist, fingers curling around me, and suddenly we’re the only two people on the mountain. I want to pull her even closer, lift her chin, and drop my mouth to hers. I want to know what she tastes like, what her hair smells like, whether she would make a noise if I tugged on one of those pretty braids. “We should go,” she whispers,

“Are you sure you’ll be OK getting back to the house?” she asks when we get to the lift station. For a woman who has tried to keep me at arm’s length all morning, I half wonder if she wants me to ask her to come back with me. But I need her out of my hair if my plan is going to work. “I’ll be fine. You go meet your family and I’ll see you when you get home.” “Enjoy your work,” she says, waving me off. Oh, she has no idea how much I’ll enjoy this. It’s very important work, indeed. The work of getting her to confess how much she wants me.

“You comfy there?” What I really want to say is ‘Can I come and sit in your lap and kiss your face and feel you get hard underneath me?’ but I’m not completely out of my mind. “It’s such a nice spot, isn’t it? With this view and everything.” He stretches out, feline and slow, but his eyes never look away from mine. He rests one arm above his head and I will myself not to look down at the sliver of skin exposed at his waist. I’m so horny for this man, there’s every chance I’ll drop to my knees and crawl over to lick it. “Let me finish this chapter and you can sit here.” “You’re fine. I’m gonna take a bath, anyway.” “No hot tub?” “Not for me. Ryan isn’t far behind me, though. I’m sure he’ll be up for it.” “What a shame,” he says, lips tipping up as his eyes float down slowly to my chest.

I don’t know if my mind is playing tricks on me, but I’m sure he winks.

Cameron looks up at me, face beaming, proud of his new skill. My brain pushes forth another scenario where he’d be watching me from his knees, and I back away to the sofa. It’s already too hot in here. Is this how it’s going to be? Me acting like a sex-crazed maniac every time I look at him? It’s impossible to play it cool.

Underneath the covers, I fight a yawn as I instinctively pull up Cameron’s website, knowing full well there won’t be anything new. Except there it is, right there in my hand. New post from Mac’n’Please.

My chaise longue? Did Mac’n’Please get himself off in my favourite chair? I’ve stopped breathing. I’m going to die.

I pause the audio, pull off my headphones, and stare at my phone. My heart races out of control, so loud I can hear it in my ears. He’s fucking with me, right?

And honestly? What the fuck am I supposed to do with that information?

Cameron, Mac’n’Please, knows who I am, knows I listen to his work, knows I’m attracted to him, and apparently he wants me, too. He’s laying his cards on the table, in the way he communicates best, but something feels off. I know so much about him, and all he knows about me is I’m his best friend’s sister, I’m a lawyer, and I know how to ski. None of that is enticing, which makes me wonder if he’s just using the idea of me for content. That definitely doesn’t do it for me. Maybe his whole kink is hooking up with listeners. I’ve seen it happen with other creators, and it never ends well.

“Morning, Hannah.” “Good morning, Cameron.” “Did you sleep well?” he asks, a broad, knowing grin stretched across his face. “Yes, thank you.” I hope he barely slept a wink, the cheeky fucker. “I listened to some music, woke up super relaxed.” “Oh, that’s nice,” he cocks his head to one side, eyes on me. “What did you listen to?” “I don’t think you’d have heard of it.” I take a slow sip of my coffee and refuse to look away. “I have pretty varied tastes.” “It’s kind of niche.” “Try me.” “Why are you being weird?” Ryan interrupts our stand-off, tearing off a hunk of baguette and smothering it with jam. “We all know it was probably Taylor Swift.”

What I really want to ask is if she listened to the audio I uploaded yesterday, but I only had to take one look at her sipping her coffee on the chaise this morning, and I knew she had. So Taylor Swift it is.

“Do you have a favourite audio of mine?” Oops. There goes my resistance. “What did you say?” “What else do you listen to?” I try not to smirk, but pretty sure she narrows her eyes at me from behind her goggles. I can practically hear her brain whirring as she thinks about how to respond. As much as it’s fun to play with her, I don’t want to push her even further away. Now seems as good a time as any to clear the air. “Hannah,” I tuck my ski poles under my thigh, the way she showed me, then lean a little closer so I can lift her goggles up and rest them on top of her helmet. Her eyes meet mine as she sucks in her breath and holds it there. “I know you know who I am.” Her mouth parts, closes softly, then parts again. I’m dying to hear her admit it, but she looks away, and pulls her goggles back down. Fuck. I’ve lost her. “I’m not trying to embarrass you,” I say. “It would be hypocritical for me to judge the very people I make content for.” She turns away, arms folded across her chest. “Come on, admit it.”

“I still can’t believe this is happening. I thought your name was Mac. I assumed it was short for MacKenzie or MacDonald or something.” “Mac is Cam spelled backwards,” I clarify. “Oh. So it is. But you’re not Mac. You’re a real person, and you’re here. In my chalet. I never thought you’d read those messages, far less turn up in my actual life. It’s awkward as fuck.” “I don’t think it’s awkward.” She shifts to face me. “You don’t think it’s awkward that your friend’s little sister listens to your audio porn and then messages you to tell you how hard she came? And now you’re stuck on holiday with her, sleeping on the other side of her bedroom wall for two weeks?” “I particularly enjoyed the ones about how hard you came.” My dick twitches in my ski pants at the memory of her words.

“We’re not talking about this,” she says, shuffling to face forward again. We’ll see.

She slides over to a nearby tree and screams. A bird flaps free from the branches and flies off. “Feel better?” “No,” she says with an angry grunt.

She’s so fucking beautiful. The way she blushes, the way her teeth catch her lip, the way she inhales slowly, gathering her thoughts, holding something back. Not for the first time, I wonder what she’d be like if she was completely uninhibited, completely herself. Could I get her to bite her lip that way while holding back a moan? Could I get her to beg for what she wants? I’d sure as hell give it my best shot. “Nothing wrong with you,” I whisper. I want to kiss her. I could kiss her, right here, but there’s every chance she’d push me over the edge of the slope and I’d never be seen again. Or she wouldn’t push me, but I’d embarrass her more, and she’d retreat even further. Neither option is good. I have plenty of time with her, and if something happens, something happens. “I tell you what,” I say, holding both ski poles in one hand so I can rest the other on her shoulder. “I have one more question, then we can stop talking about this, unless you want to bring it up again.” A long pause hangs in the air between us. I want the ball in her court, but her silence tells me she doesn’t want to end this conversation at all. “OK. What’s the question?” “Did you enjoy my latest audio?” Hannah gasps, her mouth opening and closing, cheeks blooming as she struggles to articulate her response. I won’t make her suffer any longer. “Thought so,” I say, unable to hide my smile. I want to touch her so fucking badly. I settle for a tug on one of her pigtails.

"Hey, I really value our friendship and also I would like you to carry me to your bedroom and try to make my eyes roll into the back of my head".

“I’ll go grab the sledges,” Ryan says, and Cameron looks between me and Ryan’s retreating figure, his brow knitting together in that way I’m obsessed with. “Rico’s bar is in the next village. We get the late lift up then sledge home.” “You’re messing with me.” “I’m not,” I laugh. “There’s a road, but waiting for a taxi is boring, so we slide home. We’ve done it for years.”

“So it looks like it’s just you and me, kid.” “Don’t call me kid,” I scowl. “What would you prefer I call you?” He leans in closer, the bass of the music, the chatter of the crowd all blending into one as he whispers inches from my face. “Baby? Darling? Good girl? Greedy little slut?” It could be my shaky gasp that gives it away, or my teeth sinking into my lip, or the way my eyes roll back. Probably all three. “The last one,” he nods to himself, leaning back on his barstool, eyes locked on mine as he drains his glass.

“You’re a big boy. I’m sure you can handle it,” I say. He raises his eyebrows, smirking at my unintentional innuendo, and heat creeps further up my neck. “More to the point, I wouldn’t let a beautiful woman make her way home from a bar alone on a cold, dark mountain. If you get eaten by a bear, I’d never be able to live with myself.” “There are no bears here.” “Maybe someone else will eat you.”

“Maybe we should just call a taxi?” “Cameron, you can do this. It’s the quickest way, and it’s not far. I promise you’ll be fine. Just follow me.”

“Slow down!” Hannah screams behind me, but it’s too late. The second I lifted my feet, I zoomed straight past her. I’ve veered off to the edge of the slope, and no matter which way I lean, I can’t get myself right again. Trees zip past in my peripheral vision, and I’m certain no other human has ever gone this fast before. “Use your feet,” I hear her shout, but that only serves to catapult me over the bank of snow at the edge of the slope and then I’m flying. I land face first, inches from the base of a tree. I hear her boots a few seconds later, stomping up the bank until she comes into view, dropping to her knees at my side. “Are you OK?” “I did not expect it to go that fast.” I laugh, then cough and wheeze a little. That’ll hurt tomorrow. “Are you hurt?” “I don’t think so.”

I wrap my hand around her wrist and hold it there by my throat, wishing we weren’t wearing gloves. Too many layers between us. She stills, her breath a soft cloud in the cold air. Even in the darkness, hidden underneath the low branches, I can make out the fullness of her lips, the pink of her cold nose. “You still didn’t answer my question.” “What question?” “About your favourite audio of mine.” Her breath shudders, only making me more desperate to know. “You want to talk about this now?” “I want to talk about it until I get an answer.” “Fine,” she huffs, scooting back to lean against the trunk of the tree. “I like your confessions.” “The Can I Tell You Something? series?” “Yes.”

“Argh,” she covers her face with her hands. I shouldn’t be pushing this. Getting involved with listeners has never worked out well, but there’s something different about Hannah. I could have written off my initial attraction to her as thinking with my dick, but when I read those DMs something shifted. Yes, she was flirty with her feedback, but she was also appreciative and complimentary. Her messages made me feel like she sees me as a person, not just a hot voice to get off to. I’m throwing myself down a goddamn mountain for this woman, but the way she’s looked after me the past couple of days, I couldn’t feel safer. She’s got me breaking my rules, and I can’t seem to stop myself.

“Can I tell you something I want to do?” “Uh-huh.” She sinks a little lower into me, her forehead dropping to mine. I let the moment linger, fully aware there’s no turning back. “I really want to kiss you, Hannah. Been wanting to do it since I first laid eyes on you.” “OK,” she whispers on an exhale. “OK?” “Ye—” I cut her off with a tilt of the head, my lips pressed to hers at last. Soft at first, until I feel her kissing me back. I have no restraint when she opens for me, her warm tongue slipping past my lips to meet mine. She’s warm and soft and tastes like heaven. I embarrass myself, getting instantly hard beneath her thigh but when I try to reposition her she shifts more, lifting one leg until she’s sinking down to straddle me and - oh my fuck that feels good. One hand grips my jacket as she pulls me closer into her, the other cupping the back of my neck, claiming me. I thought she’d be soft and demure, but the way she sucks my bottom lip into her mouth and sinks her teeth into it makes me think I was sorely mistaken about Hannah. Jesus, I could never write a kiss as good as this.

“This mountain is trying to kill me,” I say, looking back at where she’s waiting, fingers pressed to her lips, flushed pink from my kisses. “Let’s get you home before we get trapped here and freeze to death.”

It was a Hollywood level kiss.

“We need to get you into bed.” “Yours?” I sighed, pressing my hips back against his. “No way. What if your brother comes home? Or we might wake your parents.” I hadn’t imagined he would be so cautious. It caught me off guard as I reconfigured the pieces of my brain that imagined him as an exhibitionist thrill-seeker, willing to fuck anywhere and everywhere, with the true pieces of the man stood in front of me. “Not tonight. But soon,” he’d moaned into my mouth. He squeezed my ass as I climbed the stairs first, then apologised softly in the darkness. I’d have let him touch me anywhere. At my door he pressed a kiss to my forehead, whispered ‘see you in the morning’, then slipped past me and closed the door to his room gently. And there he stayed, despite my hopes he’d sneak out at some point, into my room, where he’d find me underneath the covers, needy and waiting for his touch.

that beautiful smile that literally makes me feel like my underwear is disintegrating.

Compared to all that, I’m just… me. I’ve only slept with a handful of men, and one was, in hindsight, so selfish in the bedroom I’m not sure he touched my clit once in the time we were together. I’ve never asked for anything in my life, and I’ve only ever had sex in a bed. That’s probably Cameron’s fifth favourite place to do it. I might have a sense in my mind of what I enjoy, but I’m nowhere near as confident or experienced as him. Last night was hot as hell, but what will he think of me when he finds out I don’t know what I’m doing? What would he even want with someone like me?

But then I remember the words he whispered last night as he lifted my chin… ‘I really want to kiss you’ and ‘been wanting to do it since I first laid eyes on you’. Was that true, or is it something he says to every woman he meets? Plus, there’s the small matter of him being friends with my brother, and the fact he lives on the other side of the world. Am I supposed to kiss him goodbye and pretend nothing ever happened between us? That kiss was unlike any I’ve had in my life, and it’s hard to believe it could be better with anyone else. Oh God, this is a living nightmare. I’m on a one-way train to Heartbreak town.

“Do you think I’ll be able to handle it, teach?” Cameron says, dropping his hand on my shoulder as he stands behind me. My eyes shoot up towards Ryan, who’s thankfully too busy looking at his phone to notice, then to Mum, who has her back turned as she clears the table. Cameron sweeps his thumb up the side of my neck and a shiver rolls through me. I am so fucked. Then he’s gone, lifting his hand to walk around to the other side of the table. I keep my head down but coast my eyes up at him. God, he’s cute, his hair all mussed up, his stubble a little more rugged than usual. I wonder if he got any sleep, or if thoughts similar to mine kept him awake. “It’s a red run home, but I think you’ll manage if you take it slow.” “What if I want to go fast?” he says with a wink so sexy it should be illegal. “What do they say, go hard or go home? I want to go hard today.” ‘What are you doing?’ I mouth, my thighs pressing together underneath the table. ‘What?’ he mouths back and shrugs, like he’s not flirting with me right in front of my entire family.

Oh shit. I don’t know how to play this. “We could get a few runs in this morning and meet everyone there for lunch?” “Sounds great.” He steps behind Ryan and gives his shoulders a squeeze. “You joining us, man?” “Nah, bro, gonna meet up with Kayla before her classes this morning.” “Oh, what a shame,” Cameron says, staring right at me with a wolfish grin on his face. “Hannah, are you coming?” This is torture.

Not yet but if you give me a minute I will be

“This is a bad idea. You are a bad idea,” I whisper loudly, stomping away from the house as quickly as my ski boots allow. “What did I do?” “Flirting in front of my brother, sneaking around, looking at me like you’re thinking about me naked. You’re not very subtle.” ”I am thinking about you naked, but nobody knows except you. Your brother has barely stopped looking at his phone since he got home. And anyway…” he says, throwing his arm around my shoulder. “Isn’t there something kind of hot about sneaking around?”

It feels like I’m a pathetic little fan girl and I’m sure I won’t be the first listener he’s been intimate with.

“Are you ashamed to be seen with me?” he says, his shoulders slumping forward. He sounds sad, and that’s not what I intended at all. “No, it’s just…” I twist my body towards him and wish I could see him properly underneath his goggles. “This is so awkward.” “Because we kissed?” “Yes,” I admit, even though not one part of me ever wanted those kisses to end. “And because you came here with my brother.” “So you are ashamed of me?” “No, but what are the chances? I don’t think he’d be thrilled about this.” “Hmmm, he told me to stay away from you, actually.” “He said that?” I snap my head towards him. “I assumed he was just playing the protective big brother role. I didn’t think I’d get here and his sister would be you. I never thought you’d know who I am.” “How on earth are we supposed to explain this? I don’t want my brother to know I know about Mac. I mean, we’re close, but we’re not swapping masturbation material close.” “We could tell him it’s an undeniable physical attraction. Which, on my part, is 1000% true.” Sure, me and who else, my brain helpfully chimes in. “I’m not some desperate fangirl, and I apologise if I’ve given you that impression. I don’t want to be another notch on your bedpost.” “Hannah, look at me,” he says, straightening up. “I don’t do this. I don’t hook up with fans, but I was attracted to you before I knew you were aware of my work.” “What do you mean, you don’t hook up with fans?”

“You talked about sleeping with a fan in that audio.” “Those audios aren’t real. They’re stories. I make them up. That’s a fantasy lots of my listeners have, and I like to make content that fulfils those desires, but that’s all it is, a fantasy. Most of those scenarios I’ve talked about have only ever happened in my head. And I definitely don’t go to conventions.” “Oh.” The weight of the conversation shifts, then lifts slightly as his words sink in. I’ve taken everything in his content at face value, fully swept into his filthy world. It’s never occurred to me it wasn’t all based on reality, but what he’s saying now is the truth. He doesn’t sleep with listeners, and this thing between us is crumbling fast. “You really don’t sleep with fans?” “I won’t lie to you. I have in the past, a couple of times, but it wasn’t good. They think they know me based on what they’ve heard, or they want me to do things a certain way. It’s a weird dynamic. Honestly, I felt pretty used, so I made a rule not to get involved with listeners again. A rule you’ve got me dying to break.” “I’m sorry, that’s awful. And I’m sorry for the times I’ve behaved inappropriately too. Some of those messages I sent you were really not OK. I was not in my right mind.” “You’re off the hook,” he says, but my actions dwell in my mind.

“Don’t go quiet on me,” he says, pulling my attention back to him. “What are you thinking?”