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The pockets of time turned from I have to to I get to and I want to.
“I buy four or five magnets every time I travel somewhere,” I explain. “I give you one, but I keep the others in case you don’t like what I picked. In case yours breaks or gets lost. In case I stop coaching tomorrow and I can never go back to these places, I want to be able to keep giving you something. I have this plan to give you a new one every year until you’re the magnet girl.”
I point to the stars next, the dozens of constellations in the night sky. “This.” “Wow,” she whispers, and I look down at her. “It’s beautiful.” “Yeah,” I agree, but I’m busy studying every inch of her face. Her button nose. The slope of her jaw. The stars twinkling in her eyes. “It is.”
It strikes my chest and zips through me like a live wire. I’ve been electrocuted. A single word echoes in my head like a drum, a beat I can’t ignore. Love. I’m falling in love with this woman. I have been for some time, I think.
No wonder I can’t stay away from her. No wonder I want to touch her every chance I get. No wonder I’m happier when she’s around, like none of my problems exist. No wonder there’s a sour taste in my mouth when I think about letting her go. I’m fucking obsessed with her.
The people I’ve been with before have been boys, because this man knows exactly what he’s doing. He knows exactly what to say to make my blood sing and my body heat. He makes me want to do everything he says and not give a damn about the repercussions.
I’m desperate for her attention and greedy for her time.
“The answer is always yes. Tonight. Tomorrow. Six months from now. Everything I have is yours, Lacey girl.”
Every second I’m with him, I fall a little deeper. Soon I’ll be twenty feet underground without a way out. I don’t think I ever want to climb out. I love him so much, with every corner of my soul and every beat of my heart. You love him, it says. You’ve loved him for a long time.
Want to go steady with me?’”
Normal people don’t go around doing these grand gestures for people they care about. I think just telling her would be fine.” “Ah. That’s where you’re wrong.”
I already can’t wait to be home with my girl.
And I would tell you I love you. Very much and very often, because I do. I do love you, Lacey.
I don’t want to let you go just yet. Can I keep you a little while longer?” My bottom lip wobbles. My hands tremble, and I sniff. “How much longer?” I ask. “How does forever sound?” Shawn asks.
“Forever is a long time,” I say. “And it still wouldn’t be long enough. I love you so very much. I think maybe I’ve always loved you,”
“I think about you when I’m away. I miss you when I’m gone. I count down the seconds until I can see you again,”
“I can’t—I don’t want to go through life without you by my side.” “You won’t have to. I’m here with you, Shawn. I’m yours. I’ve always been yours, and I’m always going to be yours.”
“You’ve always been mine. You were mine from the first time I saw you. The first time I kissed you. The first time I sank inside you,” he says, low and rough in my ear.
“I love you,” I say. “I love you so much.” “I love you too, Lacey girl,”
Over and over again until the moon turns into the sun and the starry night gives way to morning.
“I’m weak when it comes to you,” I admit. “I’m kind of obsessed, if you haven’t been able to tell.”
“I love how much you want me.” “More than I want anything else in this world. You’re my dream girl.”
“I feel this immense joy, deep in my soul, when I see him. I’ve never experienced that with anyone else.”
“What is it with you and kissing me in front of a bunch of football fans?” I ask. “Is this going to be a tradition of ours?” “I’m obsessed with you,” he says. “Can’t keep my hands to myself.”
“There’s no crying in football.”
“You encourage me. You believe in me. You stay up late with me and listen to me talk about lineups and plays even though you don’t understand half of what I’m saying. You taught me it’s okay to not be okay, not all the time, and you’re my safe space to go to after every win and every loss.” He pauses to kiss me soft and slow, and it electrifies every one of my nerve endings. “You’re my home, Lacey girl, and I love you so much.”
“I love you too. I love you to the stars. To the depths of this universe and every one beyond.”
You looked at me, and I thought I was struck by fucking lightning.
That was the moment I knew I was falling in love with you. But it wasn’t falling. It was jumping in head first, because loving you has been the easiest thing of my life. It’s been the most fun I’ve ever had, and God only knows how much fun we’ve yet to have.”
There are a lot of things I’d do over in life, but I’d choose you again and again.”
“What do you say, Lacey girl? Will you keep doing life with me? Will you stand by my side and come cheer at every game? Will you be the one I look for in the crowd, because you’re the only one I ever want to see?” Shawn asks.
smile as reality crashes into me, a wave that knocks me off balance. Football game. National television. Super Bowl. My fiancé kissing me in front of thousands—no, millions—of people, and there’s no place I’d rather be.
