But He's My Fake Fiancé (But He's a Carter Brother #3)

by Annah Conwell

“Ouch. I would have worn a bulletproof vest if I'd known I’d be shot in the heart today.”

I try to keep a smile on my face as I take a few deep breaths. The last thing I want is to follow these thoughts into a spiral that leads to an anxiety attack. My mind races as I search for something positive to ground me. Interestingly enough, the image that finally slows down my thoughts is Sloane’s smile.

That ex of yours seemed like a jerk, and your step sister would definitely fit into the cast of Cinderella.

“That, my dear future wife, is where you’re wrong. I can make anything fun. That will be my reward, proving you wrong.”

“One thing about me that you should know, wifey, is that I love nicknames. There will be no shortage of terms of endearment this summer.”

“What are you in such a rush for?” He lets me tug him to the elevator, smiling the whole way. “If you’re anxious to get to the post-date kiss, I’m happy to oblige you now.”

“I’m sorry for manhandling you,” I say. A wicked grin spreads over his face. “You can handle me any way you like, wifey.”

“It’s not like you to be vague.” He eyes me. “That’s not true. I can be mysterious.” “You tell me about every date you’ve ever been on. In the morning, you come into my office and relay your morning commute, down to how many red lights you had to stop at. Last week you texted the group chat that you got a new deodorant. There has never been anything mysterious about you.”

“I’ve decided to become a brooding enigma like you. Can you teach me how to scowl?”

“Every good fake fiancé gives his betrothed a nickname. I call her Rose and wifey, mostly. Though I plan on expanding my repertoire over the course of the summer. She calls me Gray, and if I’m really lucky, hubby.” He looks at me over Myla’s shoulder and winks. I shake my head at him, trying not to smile.

“Don’t apologize. I understand what it’s like to be on a carousel of emotions. To feel like you can’t get off no matter how badly you want to.”

I count each circle now, and take in deep, slow breaths. My anxiety starts to fade, becoming white noise in the back of my mind rather than a song blaring at full volume.

I try and fail to stop myself from smiling. I’m incapable of holding it in, though that seems to be the trend around Grayson.

He’s too much. Too perfect. I’m scared I’m going to get caught up in this. Our relationship isn’t real, but the fluttery feelings in my stomach definitely are.

“Why are you so afraid of her meeting us?” I’m worried she’ll fit in so well it’ll be hard for me to imagine my own family without her in it.

“I think I’m rubbing off on you and I don’t know how to feel about it.”

I’m going to try to do better at seeing you for who you really are, not just who my insecurities tell me you are.”

“That was amazing!” He sets me on my feet and cradles my face in his hands. “You were amazing, Rose. I’m so proud of you.” Something cracks open inside of me at his words. My eyes burn with unshed tears. “All I did was sing karaoke,” I whisper around the emotion lodged in my throat. “All you did–are you kidding me?” He wraps me up in a hug that I could live in. “You conquered a fear. That takes guts.” “I wouldn’t have done it without you.”

“You’re good, Grayson Carter. The very definition of it.”

Grayson’s lips turn up in a mischievous grin. “I have so many ideas on how to ruin today.” “You’re quite villainous this morning,” I say as I reach for my coffee. “Well, my future wife does have a weakness for morally grey men.”

“This is the bare minimum of what you should expect,” Grayson says, his gruff tone drawing my eyes up. “You deserve so much more than you think you do, Rose.”

“Carters play to win.” His silky voice makes me shiver. “You could have won without picking me up.” “Not the game I’m playing.”

“This you is all mine.” I hear the hesitation in her voice. She wants to believe what she’s saying, but she’s not quite there yet. I open my eyes to look into hers. “Yes, Rose. Yours and yours alone.”

“You can’t be good enough for them, because what they want isn’t good, Rose. Don’t hurt yourself bending over backwards for people who are going to be unhappy no matter what you do.”

“I’ve been trying to stand up for myself for years. I was on the verge of giving up when I met you. Now I’ve flown in an airplane, sang on stage, and jumped off a cliff.” She laughs like she can’t believe it. “I don’t know if I’ve ever believed in myself enough to be able to stand my ground in front of my family. But now I do, because of you.”

“You did all of those things on your own, Rose. The only thing I’ll take credit for is holding your hand through them.”

This woman is going to be the death of me, but at least I’ll die happy.

All my life, I’ve hidden away the darkest parts of me so that no one else would have to deal with them. People don’t want the outgoing, funny guy to be sad in front of them. It’s like they don’t understand I’m more than that initial first impression. It makes for an uncomfortable interaction and stilted relationship. I've learned over the years that it’s easier to deal with my problems on my own in order to avoid that awkwardness.

There’s a kind of wildness to this moment. As if we’re a part of the storm too. Her lips the ocean crashing against my shore. My touch lightning, hers the cleansing rain.