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Maman as she is now would never allow herself to grow teary-eyed over eleven lost weeks together, but I might cry myself a small koi pond in which all the fish glow a melancholy blue. So I guess I’ll just punish all of us. If, by some irrational chance, Robert is right and I do make some people, like my family, feel brighter, I guess those people might start to feel dimmer. I am losing my sparkle.