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I don’t know what the purpose of any of this was, but I get the feeling I’m going to find out whether I like it or not. Never have I wanted to be alive more than I do now. Even with all of the uncertainty and the unknown twists of my magic, I belong. I know it. But the priorities are quickly shifting around me. Everything is changing, and I’ll never feel the same. For better or worse, one thing is for certain. Fuck following the sun. Fuck destroying the shadows. Fuck everything but my next breath.
Control is a power you wield without magic.
This is exactly what I meant when I tried to explain everything to Brax. On the surface, am I alive? Yes. Will I get through this? Yes. Will I stand tall, take on any challenge, and fight with every ounce of effort I have to survive? Yes. But will every image live rent-free in my mind? Yes.
I feel what he’s trying to portray without words and my mouth dries. It’s beating because I breathed life into it. It’s beating because I protected him just as they’ll protect me.


































