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“People have paid unspeakable prices for the kind of warding I just gave you. No one from beyond the veil can pop in without an invitation. Between these walls, you’re safe from everyone from the boogeyman to Zeus himself. Be grateful.”
“Not quite, but you’re getting closer. Cool guy. He put his clairsentience to way better use than your dumb ass. Hate his fan club, though.”
“The first eighteen years of my life revolved around whether or not I was disappointing God. Every action, every move, every thought hinged on me saying or doing or thinking the right thing. Every decision I made was rooted in terror that a deity might be angry with me, or that I was letting him down, or that he’d be mad. As if I didn’t already have enough mental illnesses before we factored in the shame and judgment… Just, give me a moment to process the concept that not one but multiple gods don’t hate me.” I
Heaven is just a word so humans understand we’re talking about the realm on the side of this god, the one that a third of the world is sending their energy to during Sunday services. There you go. That’s theology in a nutshell.” I couldn’t stop myself from muttering, “Blasphemous theology in a nutshell.”
Through smacking bites, she said, “Well, you’re hearing it from a pagan forest deity—your words—so take whatever you want with a grain of salt. It’s up to you. Believe me or don’t.
“Where do you get your clothes? I never asked.” “My place!” She smiled. “Your…excuse me?” “I have a house in the mortal realm. You know, for funsies.” At this point, I wasn’t sure why anything she said shocked me. If she informed me that she also had a husband, three children, and wore pantsuits from Monday through Friday, I probably would have found it just as ridiculous as everything else I’d learned. None of it had to make sense,
“I just…my mom was right. She thought rock music would send me to Hell, and she was right. They’re playing Kansas. I expected ominous orchestral music, heavy on the organs.” “Well, you can find that here, too. But you can also find that on Earth. Preferences are preferences wherever you go. I bet there’s a cute demon cowboy listening to country while doing the two-step somewhere in the city. Honestly, all our kingdoms thrive on their diversity, like anywhere.
“If someone adores you for your chaos, what’s the best way to honor that love? If they treasure your rootlessness, if they celebrate your anarchy, if they love you as you are, do you think they’d be dancing in the streets if you gave up the very essence at the core of your being that made them fall for you?” I folded my arms over my chest, both to cover the chilly evidence beneath her thin, white shirt and to shield my discomfort. She pushed. “Humans do it all the time. I swear to the gods, it’s the norm in your realm. And how often does it make them happy?”
I just do things for the plot. So, you know, you gotta fuck a centaur for the party anecdote.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?” Yes. I was thirstier than I’d ever been in my life, though I suspected most of that was a result of nerves. I wanted to crawl into a hole, if she happened to have one available.
I’d spun out of the clinic and torn through the town, Monaco Grand Prix style.
