Drive Me Crazy (Drive Me #1)

by Carly Robyn

“She said I treated the Baku circuit like a game of Mario Kart last year.” “She’s not wrong.” He lets out a long, low chuckle. “You drove like a maniac.” I flip him the bird. He’s right and I hate being wrong.

mortally wounded him. “No offense, Blake, but grow a pair and get over it. I know for a fact there are women who’ve said way worse things about you. I read the tabloids.”

Blake is the founder, president, and most active member of the ‘Go Fuck Yourself, Ella’ Club. I feel like I’m going to have to Guantanamo Bay him in order to get him to talk.

“Blake. Do I look like a dentist?” His brows furrow in confusion. “Uh, no.” “That’s because I’m not. So I’d appreciate it if I didn’t have to sit here and pull teeth trying to get you to talk. Try again, please.”

She’s only here for the season, then she’s leaving. Just like my mum, just like my dad. I closed the door on the idea of a relationship years ago; there’s only so much rejection someone can take before it hardens their heart to stone.

The only cutesy names Theo hasn’t called me are “princess” and “angel.” Those seem to be specifically reserved for Josie.

Theo may win races, but he is not winning Josie’s approval anytime soon.

Without so much as a thought, I push him into the crisp, cool Mediterranean Sea. I can’t believe he actually falls in. He’s made of pure muscle; I can’t even lift a fifteen-pound dumbbell at the gym without getting sore.

Ella, I won’t be your co-host, but I do hope you continue doing what you love. Fuck anyone who tries to take that away from you. xx, Blake P.S. I lied when I said your podcast wasn’t the best. I’ve listened to every episode.

According to Theo, I’ve broken “bro code” by not going out with him and Lucas after the race. He’s acting as if I’ve committed a crime against humanity.

“Your actions are forcing Luc to waterboard himself. Is this what you want, Hollis?”

If real-life men suck, may as well go with the fictional ones.

We were never a priority for him, so I finally gave up trying to be one.” “You didn’t give up, Blake, you just realized what you deserve. You deserve to be a priority.”

That is not how you kiss someone you don’t want to sleep with. That is a kiss that leaves someone breathless and overwhelmed and wanting more.

She continues to walk down the street as if nothing’s just happened. “You coming?” I’d fucking like to be coming, but clearly that’s not going to happen.

“Time for the world to scream your name,” I joke. “Your favorite part.” “I’d rather it was you screaming my name, love, but this’ll do for now.”

“Like bloody fuckin’ hell you’re sleeping here.” I need a good night’s sleep. Not one where I’m up the whole night hyperaware and painfully turned on knowing her body is in my bed when she may not even be in fucking shorts.

I’ll carry you out if I have to.” “And I’ll bite you if I have to.” Her voice carries the same level of annoyance as mine. I smirk. “I’d rather enjoy that.” “Kinky.”

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I ask her why she loves it so much. It’s crime and murder, which is straight up depressing shit. Her answer? She likes when victims get justice. Fuck if that doesn’t rip my heart right in two. It’s cute when she happily hums along to the theme song and yells “bum bum” at the end.

when he opens the door to his car for me and tells me I look beautiful, the butterflies decide to snort cocaine or something because they are losing their fucking minds.

“Ella, do you want to grab a wine from the cellar?” Gabriel asks. “Whatever red looks best.” I buy my wine based solely on which label I like the most, but I don’t think that’s what he means.

He runs his thumb over my bottom lip, pulling it down. Those dumb teddy-bear brown eyes of his are soft

“I can’t give you what you want, Ella,” Blake says quietly as I get out of the car. “I’m sorry.” I fight back the tears that threaten to spill onto my cheeks. “What I want is you. You’re just too scared to see that I’m what you want, too.”

As much as I’m a hopeless romantic, I’m also a realist and it doesn’t get much more real than this.

I can’t fault Blake for how he feels. He doesn’t date. Rejection stings, but I’m a big girl. I’ll get over it. I just need about thirty to ninety business days to do so.

I pretend it doesn’t matter. I try convincing myself that she’s a fever dream I can easily forget. But you don’t forget a girl like Ella, whether you meet her in line for Starbucks or spend months traveling the world with her. She leaves that type of impression. Trying to protect my heart with barbed wire is useless when a simple smile from her can cut it straight away.

I’m trying not to hide from my emotions, but sometimes I’m scared to dive in because they’re so deep I’m worried I’ll drown.

“Sharing the most honest version of yourself—cracks, cuts, and scars—that’s scary.

“Sometimes the ones we think we need the most are the ones who let us down the hardest, Blake, but that doesn’t make you any less capable of giving or receiving love. Coping with the loss of someone isn’t linear.”

“I feel like I’m broken, and if I let her in, I’ll just end up breaking even more.”

“You’re not broken, Blake. Don’t be so hard on yourself for taking time to heal. You’ve been through a lot of shit and no one’s expecting you to come to terms with that instantaneously.”

She has a magnetism that easily draws you in—and the closer you get, the harder it is to pull away. But I’m done trying to fight it. Someone better get out the checkered flag because I’m ready to win back what’s mine.

“Just because your friend doesn’t know a good thing when it’s right in front of him doesn’t mean other blokes are just as stupid.”

I’d chosen yellow tulips for how happy she makes me, purple hyacinths for forgiveness (and it’s her favorite color), amaryllis for her beauty inside and out, and white camellia for affection and adoration.

“We weren’t each other’s firsts,” Blake says, “but I sure as hell hope we’ll be each other’s lasts.”

I’ve already seen Theo in the nude plenty of times. If there’s a chance for his dick to be out, it will be. The man acts like he’s bloody Tarzan.

“You’re proof an angel can walk through hell and make burns look beautiful, baby.”

Every single piece of you. You’re my person. I’ve already gone twenty-nine years of my life without you and now that I’ve found you, I plan on showing you just how much I love you every single day for the rest of my life. I’m a little broken and a little messy, but I swear to God I’ll love you with every jagged piece of me.

Relationships are hard and messy, and we’re both going to fuck up and make mistakes. That’s life. But no matter how complicated shit gets, it’s you I want by my side. It’s always going to be you, Blake.”