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“Are you sure it’s okay for me to crash tonight?” As grateful as I am for the offer, if Sebastian is there, I’m not sure where I’ll even sleep. Aiden’s one-bedroom doesn’t leave many options. “Of course it is. I told Seb to blow up the air mattress while I came to get you. If you plan on jumping his bones, try to be quiet.”
“I’m serious,” I say. “You can cut it out with the Seb stuff. I got over that years ago.” “Really?” “Yes, really.” “I guess there’s some other reason you’re nose deep in his jacket, then.”
Coffee and lilac are the first things that register when I wake up, and I know immediately that Bee is back. I’d know that perfume anywhere. She’s home. Aiden hasn’t been able to keep the smile off his face all week. Meanwhile, I’ve been carefully avoiding my own feelings on the subject.
“I’m sure he told you already, but Aiden’s glad that he’ll get to see more of you.” There’s a twitch of a smile as she nods again. “We both are.” Finally, a reaction. Bee’s gaze meets mine, and there’s a flash of something sharp—a literal blink and I’d have missed it—before she ducks her head. The kitchen counter stands between us, but I can’t tell who it’s meant to be protecting.
“Bee.” My hand twitches on my thigh, but I stop myself from reaching for her. “Ask me.” “Um, when you started dancing, were you ever worried about what people would say?” Huh. Not what I was expecting. And from the way she’s chewing on her lip, I’m pretty damn sure she’s not asking the question she really wants the answer to. “I didn’t care what anyone said about stripping except my mom, and she came around.”
I chuckle. “I was a cocky twenty-one-year-old with a six-pack. Nothing scared me.” Now I’m thirty-six, and I can name at least one thing I’m afraid of…
We stop at a red light, jogging in place. “Love you too,” I return. It’s easy to say. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without him. Aiden is a straight-up good guy. When I came out as bisexual, he stood by me. He was the first example of nontoxic masculinity I had, and he’s everything my father isn’t.
“You were pretty determined.” “I’ve always wanted a home. A place of my own.” “I didn’t realize. You always had a different girl on your arm. I just thought settling down wasn’t for you.” Holy hell, she’s pouting. Jealousy, huh? Okay, I can work with that.
“I meant what I said before. This is your house too. I want you to feel comfortable here. And, selfishly, I like spending time with you. We should do this more often.” “No more hiding in my room, huh?” I hand the remote to Bee. “No more hiding at all. I want to see you, Bee. All of you.” “I’ll try. And, uh, for the record, I like spending time with you too. Always have.”
I have to bite back a moan when he once again picks me up and sets me on the counter. Then he steps between my legs. I’ll still have to look up at him, but the height difference is definitely doing it for me. “That’s the second time you’ve done that.” “Say the word and I’ll stop.”
The sentiment hangs, and I place my hand on his. Whatever he wants for his future, I hope he gets it. “It must have gotten you laid a lot.” Sebastian’s breathing is a steady rhythm filling the silence while I inwardly kick myself for asking. “Are you jealous?” He raises his brow.
“The way you look at me, I…” Finding the right words has never been harder. “I don’t need to be a certain version of myself. I can be any version I want to be, because you’ll accept me the way I am. I’m not used to having a person look at me without wanting something.” “I never said I didn’t want, Bee.”
“I suppose you’ve asked all your girlfriends to help you do this,” I blurt out, because anything is better than talking about my exes. Except now I’ve just implied that I am a part of Sebastian’s girlfriends, and I want to sew my damn mouth shut before I say anything else. “No, just you.”
I slide forward, catching her hand in mine. “Why does this scare you so much?” She lets out a pained laugh. “How much time do you have?” “For you? The rest of my life.”
“Apart from this,” I wave the sheets she passed me, “what is something you haven’t had the chance to do yet?” I want to make it happen for her, whatever it is. Whatever she’s thinking, her cheeks flare red hot. Now I definitely want to know. “Um, nothing.” We both know that’s not true. “Challenge number two, Bee. Would it help if I went first?” She nods. Okay. If only I’d thought to redirect the blood flow upward, back to my brain, before I suggested that. Those animal-print shorts are slowly killing me. And, shit. This is harder than I thought it would be. My need for her is blaring between
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“That’s a goddamn shame, Bee, because you deserve someone who will give that to you. Someone you can be vulnerable with.” She reaches out, hooking her pinky over mine. Its sweetness overwhelms me.
When I see that the swing set beside us is free, I pull Sebastian toward it, on a mission. “Bee, I’m almost forty.” I’m sitting before he can stop me. “There’s no age limit on fun. Now get your sexy ass over here and push me.”
“Smart thinking, angel.”
“You don’t need a quiz to get to know me, Bee. You only need to ask. Or is there something specific you want from me?”
Two bags of chips find their way into the basket. I cast a challenging look at Bee, who is smiling sweetly, as though that will make up for the abomination she’s selected. How someone so delectable can favor sour cream is unfathomable to me. “No.” I take them out. She returns them. “Yes.” Oh, she thinks she’s clever. “Bee.” “Yes, dear?” Goddamn. I can’t throw her up against the shelves, but I really fucking want to.
“Dream big. Throw yourself amongst the stars. Let them shine as brightly as you do.”
“What?” “Have such faith in me?” I smile. “It’s easy. Because you’re you.” Her eyes fall closed, a frown forming. “Sebastian.” Right on cue, my heart sighs in my chest like a sentimental fool. “I like how you say my name.”
“For someone who’s so hard on herself, you’re remarkably easy to please.” “You only think that because everything you do pleases me.”
But he doesn’t close the gap. It has to be me. We both need to know if I’m up for this challenge. “Tell me, Bee.” I surge forward, my lips meeting his, opening so he can sweep his tongue into my mouth.
“Hey.” “Hi.” He kisses me, and I close my eyes, savoring it. “You’ve gone quiet.” I nod. “I’m still floating. That was”—explosive—“surprising.”
There’s a beat where we’re staring at each other in silence before Bee steps back, looking like she’s about to flee. And that kicks my ass into gear. “If you’re having regrets, I’d like to know. I’ve been trying to find a way to say this without influencing you, but it’s early, and the way you look right now is making it difficult to think, so I’m just going to say this.”
I’ve just slipped my fingers between her thighs when Aiden’s voice carries down the hall. “Hey, sleepyhead. Did you forget something?” Fuck, shit, fuck.
Sebastian pats the counter. “Sit with me.” I don’t move. After a beat, he quirks a brow, and I wave my hands at my waist, waiting. It’s worth it to watch him lick his lips as he smiles. Slowly, he steps up to me, curling his hands firmly around me before lifting me onto the counter. I whisper my thanks into his mouth.
While he’s distracted, I try to taste the sauce he’s preparing for our noodles, but he manages to block me with the spatula. “Behave.” Oh, but I don’t want to.
It’s even easier to catch him by his forearm and reel him in for a kiss. His lips are soft and insistent as I catch him in the hold between my legs.
“And we won’t even need to, because you’re going to crush this.” “If I don’t, I’ll be the one getting crushed.” “Hey, no back talk in my kitchen.” “I thought this was our kitchen.” “Now you’re getting it.” I wink and get the desired result when she laughs.
“I’m all yours, Sebastian. Tell me what to do.”
This is the Bee she’s always been. She’s no longer pretending to be someone else. This is the woman I’m falling in love with.
Morgan is pissed.
Morgan is a bad friend
“I don’t know. I’ve always agreed to spare her feelings. But somewhere along the way, I started to believe her.” And then the real truth hits. “Sebastian, I don’t think I like who I am when I’m with her.”
“As nice as they are, this is something neither your mouth nor your dick can solve.” Hearing his laughter is the final key, cracking open my chest and pouring the sunlight in. “I’ll give you nice,” he growls against my lips, pulling me into his lap and proving me at least 70 percent wrong. They might not solve it, but his mouth and his cock go a long, long way to help.
Bee looks up and moans. “Always with the pockets. I can’t.” “What about them?” “You always have your hands in them. It drives me crazy.” I step into her space, crowding her against the wall. “Do you know why? Because if I don’t, I won’t stop touching you.”
“Do you think there’s such a thing as a harmless lie?” My brother answers first. “No, I don’t. But not every lie hurts the hearer.” Wow.
“I didn’t show you anything that wasn’t already there, Bee. And I’ll keep reminding you until we’re old and gray and these walls are crumbling around us.” Emotion chokes me, and I clench my fingers in his shirt. I want to keep him. I want to stay. He’s so good to me, and I’m hurting him, because despite all of his challenges, I’m still scared. Scared to see where this goes. Scared to get hurt. Terrified of letting him go.
I hum and add a second finger, pumping in steady strokes. She clenches around me, and I smile. She’s waking.
I fit my hand to the wings on Sebastian’s shoulder, kissing his temple. Home has always been somewhere far away. Until now.
“I’m in love with him.” “Does he know?” “Not in so many words.”
“I mean it, Bee. I want all of you.” My voice is loud enough to drown out the music. She raises hers to match, her brow pinched. “And I keep telling you I want you too.” I pinch my nose. She’s not getting it. I know this already. “What does that mean?” Bee growls and kicks at a broken mug. “What do you mean, what does it mean?”
“Come on, Sebastian,” she chides, and my jaw clicks. “All that talk about facing my fears means nothing if you can’t do the same. You know how much I hate being babied, so stop protecting me and just say it.” Fine. She wants to hear it so badly, then that’s what she gets. I’d tear down every brick of our home and rebuild it if she asked. “I’m in love with you,” I roar, sick of holding back. “Well, good,” Bee yells back. “Because I’m in love with you.”
