Caught Up (Windy City, #3)

by Liz Tomforde

I’m not sure I want to make it work. I’m not sure I want to play baseball anymore.

“You’ve got a cute kid.” You’ve got a cute everything, is what I want to say in response.

“Oh, well that’s good. I mean, that’s not good. Or maybe it is good? Who am I to say? Goddamn, this elevator is taking forever.” She slaps a palm over her mouth, her eyes darting to Max. “I mean, gosh dang it.” That finally makes me chuckle, a small grin sliding across my lips. She softens a bit. “He does smile.”

“And Ace,” he calls out. “Keep your dick in your pants. We all know how fucking fertile you are, and I’m too young and too goddamn attractive for someone to be calling me Grandpa.”

He must be wearing contacts at the moment, but his usual glasses really add to that “uptight but fuckable” vibe he emanates. Clark Kent look-alikes do it for me apparently.

we all have our shit. Just because we’re dealing with our own stuff, doesn’t mean I can’t hear about yours.

“You feel guilty?” Zanders asks. “All the time.” I exhale a long breath. “All the fucking time. If I’m not with him, I feel guilty for being gone, but if I’m with him all day without a moment to myself, I feel guilty for wanting a bit of my own time.

I think you’re so hung up on what you did miss that you’re desperate not to miss any more.”

He’d give up everything for his kid, the same way I would. How does she not get that? There’s a different kind of love that comes into your life when you have a child. Monty didn’t sacrifice his career, he simply changed directions because of how much he loved that little

You know what makes a kid happy? Watching their parent fulfill their dreams.

For someone who has always felt alone in my responsibilities, never having anyone else to rely on, it’s not easy for me to see the help around me. But it’s there. There’s not a single soul on this team or staff who wouldn’t go out of their way for me or my son. I tend to wallow in self-pity, telling myself I’m alone in this, but I’m not. I nod. “Sometimes I forget to look.” “Well, you spent a lot of years looking and coming up empty, so I don’t blame you, but that’s not the case anymore.”

My heart physically aches, but it’s not from the time away or the missed moments with my son. It’s because for the first time since Max came into my life, I feel like I could have it all.

“If you’re going to start coming to my games, I better see Rhodes on your back and I’m not talking about my brother.” “Is this some athlete kink you got? Need to see a girl in your jersey?” The old flirty side of me that I’ve kept hidden and locked down for the most part since Max came into my life is itching to break free. I pop my shoulders. “I like to see pretty girls in my jersey. Like to take it off them too.” Miller’s lips part, a shocked and satisfied grin lifting on the corners. “Well, with that kind of promise, I’ll be sure to wear it next time.”

She stares right at me, not backing down. “Kai, I am not your problem.” My attention dips to her lips. “Be my problem.” Swallowing, she tilts her head, testing me. “Then do something to make me your problem.” Fuck me. I’m so frustratingly into this woman, so I do just that. I make her my problem.

“I think I’m at the point where I feel nothing toward him.

the hardest part has been knowing what a good family unit looked like and no longer having it.

Monty kind of earned that title right away. Even though Max doesn’t call him that, it would’ve been weird to give it to someone else.” Oh, my heart. “Yeah,” I exhale. “My dad has a knack for earning his titles when they aren’t automatically his to begin with.”

I’ve always chased the checkmarks.” “Why?” I exhale a laugh. “God if I know. That’s what we as a society have been conditioned to do, right? Keep striving for the next best thing instead of finding gratitude and peace where we are.”

It’s almost as if I forgot that my favorite part of baking is feeding the people I love.

“We’re calling them the Max and Miller cookie. The M&M cookie. Sorry, Baseball Daddy, but you’re out on this one.” “Actually, I’m also an ‘M’. My full name is Malakai, so I guess I count too.”

“You want Miller to quit her job, don’t you?” “I didn’t say that.” “But you’re thinking it.” “I want my kid to be happy, just as you want yours to be. Do I think she’d be happier making this kind of stuff every day instead of living in the stress of high-end restaurant life? Yeah, I do.

I once assumed I didn’t have anyone there to celebrate the good moments with, and I couldn’t have been more wrong. I’ve had these guys the whole time.

I think you could change directions a hundred more times in your life, and you’d never be too stuck to do so. Life is about finding your joy, living in a way that brings you and others happiness.

The only thing you owe your dad is to find your happiness.

He was right. There’s no way I’ll be able to forget him.

“Just so I can keep things clear, are these rules to remind me what this little arrangement is, or are they a reminder for you?”

The photo is small, maybe only two or three inches in height and fits perfectly next to the one of Max in my hat. Monty stays silent as I put the empty frame back on his desk. “Shut up.” He laughs. “I didn’t say anything.” I tuck the photo of Miller under the band, close to the one of Max, running my thumb over both of the edges.

I’ve never loved being in the kitchen more than I did with him here next to me.

“Is that the alcohol speaking, or are you really that much of a romantic?” Stevie laughs. “She’s love’s number-one advocate. Drunk or not.”

“And it’s okay to change directions even when you’ve spent your entire life headed on a one-way street.”

People don’t just walk away from that kind of a career.” “They do if they don’t love it anymore. If they love something or someone else more.”

“Isn’t Isaiah part of this group?” she asks. “He’s single.” I lift my brow mischievously. “Right. He is.”

I hate you. You don’t hate me. You’re right. It’s just about the opposite of that.

I won’t let you walk away from that because of my son.” Or because of me.

“Pressure is a privilege, Miller. Expectations are high because you’re successful. If you were average, no one would be waiting on bated breath for you.

I’ve spent my whole life chasing a career that I’m realizing, regardless of the awards and the prestige, isn’t all that fulfilling.

“I’ve always been intimidated by you. By how free you are. How brave and confident you are in your own skin.

I want her to remember this. How it feels to be surrounded by the people that love her, that she loves in return. That life is so much more than the money you make or the status of your job. It’s about chasing your joy.

“If it didn’t feel like a dream, then what did it feel like?”

Good question

Everyone wants to be wanted, and yeah, I’m scared to put myself in the position to ask someone to want me when I’ve grown accustomed to people leaving.

“She’s not my blood, but she’s my girl,” Monty says from beside me. “And she looks at your boy, who is not her blood, in the same way I look at her. I’ve seen it all summer. I watched her fall in love with two people at the same time, and it reminded me of myself when I met her and her mom. She won’t be able to just walk away from that, regardless of if you ask or not.” Monty finally looks my way, eyes welling with unshed tears. “I know I couldn’t.”

Monty exhales a contented sigh. “Just know that I loved her first.” I nod. “And I’ll love her always.”

Contrary to what you believe, you don’t have to be the best to earn a name for yourself.

“You’ve been taking care of my heart, Mills, and I’ve been taking care of yours.”

This is fucking miserable, Miller, knowing there’s a clock counting down the seconds until I don’t have you anymore, but I’d do it all over again. I’d fall in love with you all over again. I’d break my heart all over again because loving you was one of the two greatest surprises of my life.”

“Miller,” he says, making sure my attention is on him. “If you ever decide to stop running and make a home…” His eyes are begging, pleading. “Make it with me.”

“If you ever feel like you’ve truly lost your passion for this, quit. Your food will never meet its potential because you’ll never meet your potential.

“Find your passion, Miller. Find what makes you excited to get up every morning and if it’s not this, walk away.”

But you know what’s better than being the best at something you don’t love? Being mediocre at something you do.”

“Never once, to this day, have I ever viewed our relationship or how our family came to be as a sacrifice. It’s been a privilege to be your dad.”