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“Sweetie. You just bake cakes. I’m not calling you Chef.”
I flinched
“Want to talk about what happened the other night?” he asks. “Nope.” “Okay. Let’s talk about it anyway.”
“Don’t smile. You’re too old to be smiling. You’re sure to get wrinkles just from doing it once.”
“So organized, Baseball Daddy. I bet you’re one of those people who knows where their birth certificate is, aren’t you?” “You don’t? Miller, that’s something you should definitely know the location of.”
Didn’t know a man’s calves could be hot, but here we are.
I take the free row opposite them with a perfect view to watch the baseball player smile down at his kid, Max looking equally in love, staring up at his dad with tired and teary eyes.
I’ve never thought about having kids before, but I’d be shocked to find a woman whose ovaries aren’t doing all sorts of cartwheels watching Kai Rhodes know exactly what to do to make his son feel better.
“I’m not being insecure.” I’m completely insecure.
“I could help with that, you know. It’d be a sacrifice for sure, having sex with you, but I’m a martyr that way.” He chuckles. “I don’t need your charity.” “Why not? I could use the tax write-off.”
“You promised to help me find my balance in life. I thought I’d try to help you find your joy.”
“You almost done sexualizing me?” With her eyes, she retraces the same path. “You keep walking around here in nothing but a towel and the answer to that will continue to be a resounding no.”
I’ve got it handled. I’ve been dealing with your brother for years. When it comes to Isaiah Rhodes, my favorite thing to do is to humble him.
Miller simply shoots me a knowing smile over her shoulder all while doing a terrible job of making sure I don’t fall for her.
Life is about finding your joy, living in a way that brings you and others happiness.
“I’m praying.” Finding the button on his pants, I unzip. “What the fuck do you think I’m doing?”
“So you brought me out here just to objectify me?” she asks as she slips into the water. “Yeah…obviously.”
“Because it’s her dream, and I care about her too much to not help her chase it, even if that means I won’t be there when she gets everything she’s worked for.”
“Can we forget about some of my rules? For the rest of the week while I’m here? I just want to know what it’d feel like.” “You want to know how what feels like?” “To be yours.”
“You are the most jealous woman I’ve ever met. You know that?” Her head jerks back. “You’ve met other women?” “Charming as always, baby.”
“Miller, you’re not just another person.” He won’t look at me, his attention locked on the ground, and I catch the first tear fall from under his glasses, hitting the floor. “You put me first when I forgot how to. You reminded me what it felt like to be important, to be chosen first. I know you wanted this to be easy and detached, but you’re fucking in here.” His fingers meet his chest, tapping it a couple of times, blue eyes meeting mine, and full of pain. “You’re everywhere, and when you leave tomorrow, I’ll still see you everywhere. In this kitchen. In Max’s room. In my bed. There’s nothing
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“If you ever decide to stop running and make a home…” His eyes are begging, pleading. “Make it with me.”
“Yeah,” I exhale. “Daddy is sad, but it’s okay to be sad.”
“It just means we love someone so much that we miss them. That’s a good thing.”
I hope you’re out there finding your joy because you’re the reason we found ours.
I feel equal parts jealous as I do grateful. Jealous that I don’t have it anymore, that I don’t have her by my side to celebrate the good moments with. And grateful that I had the chance to love Miller, to be loved by her even though I never let her say it.
I left our time together with a reminder so many of us in the industry need at times—there’s life outside of the kitchen…and it’s beautiful.
Banana (Nana) Bread—the one that got me back in my groove. M&M Cookies—named after my favorite people. And finally, the one that makes my eyes burn. Mae’s Tiramisu—for the woman I never got to meet but who raised two amazing men. I hope I follow in your steps by being a fantastic boy-mom.
I want to watch as many of your games as I can. I want to wake up with you every morning. I want to live close to my dad. I want to read stories to Max every night before bed. I want to try my hardest to be who he needs me to be. I want to be the one to bake him cupcakes for his first birthday at school and for all his birthdays after that. I want to have more babies with you because you are such an amazing dad. But most of all, I want to be happy and you two make me happy, Kai. And I hope I make you happy too.”
“Today was a good day.” There were so many times I said that this summer with the fear that they were going to all end, but now… “They’re all going to be good days, Miller.”
“But she…” I stutter. “She hates you.” “Well, you see about that. Turns out, after about eight shots of tequila, she doesn’t hate me all that much.”
“Mistake seems harsh,” he counters. “I like the term, ‘happy accident.’” “Is that what Kennedy is calling it?” “Oh, no. She definitely called it a mistake.”
“I wanted to ask you the second you came back, but I was trying to give you the space to grow into this new life without asking too much of you. But I can’t wait any longer. There’s no one else I want to raise him, and hopefully a few more babies, with. You’re my closest friend and the person I have the most fun with. I love you, Miller, and I’m pretty envious that Max gets to call you Mom because I’d really like the opportunity to call you my wife.”
“What do you say, Mills? Will you marry me?” I glance down at Max. “Us?” My entire world is looking right back at me, this family I’ve longed for, dreamt for, and the three of us have never felt more complete than when she takes a deep breath, smiles at me, and simply says, “Yes.”
