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“You’re so perfect, Miller,” I whisper into her ear. “So mine.”
If she’d let me have her, she’d be mine. I love the girl, and I try to show her through my actions, but if she ever gave me the green light, I’d tell her too.
Craning my neck I kiss her, right there in the middle of the infield where anyone could see, because this is not just a fling. Nothing about our situation is detached. She’s it for me and I don’t know how the fuck to handle that.
“Do you love her?” Monty asks. “I do. Very much so.” “She might break your heart.” “I’ll love her anyway.” “I know you will.”
Monty exhales a contented sigh. “Just know that I loved her first.” I nod. “And I’ll love her always.”
“What I’m trying to say is that my brother deserves the world and for him, you are the world.”
Happy Birthday, Miller. I love you. Love, Max
Miller’s face falls. “What did you say?” “Mama.” Max grins, so proud of himself for saying a name I now realize he’s been trying to say for weeks. “Mama! Mama!” Miller’s head whips in my direction. She’s on the brink of an emotional meltdown while holding my son, who is looking at her as if every missing puzzle piece in his life has been put back together. He settles himself back on her chest, quietly repeating the word over and over again while Miller rocks him and cries her fucking eyes out.
And I watch her heart break from the doorway while mine breaks for both me and my son.
“Why? Why would that be there? Why is it next to Max’s picture?” He doesn’t answer me, so I pull my attention away from the picture to find him staring at me and it isn’t until he has my full attention that he says, “Because when life or work gets too stressful, too overwhelming for me, I’m able to see who matters most. And that’s you, Miller.” He shakes his head. “And it’s in there because I’m so fucking in love with you, it’s too painful not to be able to see you every second of the day.”
“I fucking love you, and I’m sorry that neither my son nor I could control how we feel about you. I’m sorry that this is the last thing you wanted to hear, but I’m not sorry that I do.” “Kai,” I cry, fresh tears streaming down my face. “You can’t. We just…we got caught up in this. We had rules.” “Fuck your rules, Miller!” he bursts, pacing the hallway that leads to his room. “I’m not asking you to love me back.”
“But I’m not going to keep pretending like I’m not absolutely fucking ruined from having you for the last two months. I know this is the last thing you wanted, but I’m not going to apologize. You’re my favorite person, Miller, and for once I had someone for me. I had someone taking care of me. After being alone for so long, I finally had someone looking out for me.” “I haven’t been taking care of you.” I frantically shake my head. “You were the one taking care of me.” “You’ve been taking care of my heart, Mills, and I’ve been taking care of yours.”
seconds until I don’t have you anymore, but I’d do it all over again. I’d fall in love with you all over again. I’d break my heart all over again because loving you was one of the two greatest surprises of my life.”
“Please let me say it,” he whispers against me. “I’ve tried to show you all summer, so let me just say it on the last night I have you.” “Tell me.” He nudges his nose against mine. “I love you. God, I love you so much, Miller, it feels like it might kill me.”
“Miller,” he says, making sure my attention is on him. “If you ever decide to stop running and make a home…” His eyes are begging, pleading. “Make it with me.”
“Never once, to this day, have I ever viewed our relationship or how our family came to be as a sacrifice. It’s been a privilege to be your dad.”
My dad nudges his shoulder into mine. “I’m not telling you what you should or shouldn’t do with your life. I just don’t want you to be so afraid to fail at something new that it keeps you from finding your happiness when you’re the reason I found mine.”
“Go find your happiness, Miller.”
“Miller.” Wrapping my arms around her waist, I keep her close. “We were missing you before we even met.”
“Today was a good day.” There were so many times I said that this summer with the fear that they were going to all end, but now… “They’re all going to be good days, Miller.”
With her tears falling quicker now, her attention comes right back to me where I’m kneeled in front of her. “What do you say, Mills? Will you marry me?” I glance down at Max. “Us?”
