Swipe Right for Monsters (Monster Match #1)

by R. O'Leary

For all the goblin girlies who just want to wear sweatpants, drink iced coffee, and get dicked down by hot monsters with fat bank accounts. Same, girl. Same.

“To Nicole finally having time to get laid!” “To Nicole putting the D in PhD!” cheered Ashley.

Nicole raised her own shot glass. “To getting plastered and finding some monster dick!”

“Holy shit, look at that tongue!” Ashley ripped the phone out of her hand and stared. “Girl, you have got to go on a date with him.” “He’s part lizard!” “He can be part gecko and try to sell me car insurance for all I care. Imagine what that tongue could be doing to your bits right now!”

"I'm allergic to dogs, and you're starting to make my eyes water," he said apologetically.

“I believe the damsel is in need of rescue.” Atticus shot him a satisfied grin and veered in her direction. Jasper sighed. “You’re a two-hundred-year-old vampire who can barely figure out how to use a corkscrew, but sure, we’re going to know exactly how to fix an engine.”

“Please tell me none of you touched anything.” The werewolf sighed and pushed past them. “For future reference, babe, vampires and fae are useless with machines—”

“If even one of you can tell me what a spark plug is, I’ll take it back,” he said, smirking. “Anyone?”

“Do you want to see your car, or do you want to keep checking me out?” Wes asked, his dimples flashing with his grin. “I’m good with either.”

Vibrators and dramatic exits were the only confidence booster she’d ever need again.

“Do something!” “Me?” “You’re the sensitive one!” the vampire hissed. “How am I—?” “You’re a vegetarian!” Wes growled. Hawthorne rolled his eyes. “Suddenly being a vegetarian makes me ‘sensitive’?”

Her obituary would read “dead and full of monster cum”, and she was happy with that.